Are you wondering if Sex therapy is right for you?
Then Stick around, because in this episode of the Mental Health Toolbox, we are talking with Clinical Psychologist and Sexologist, Dr. Moali.
Despite the increase in mental health awareness in recent years, there remains to be a lot of stigma around mental health treatment, and the topic of sex therapy in particular, remains somewhat taboo and ambiguous.
In this episode, my aim is to remove some of that ambiguity and help answer the question, what is sex therapy, how does it work and it is right for me?
*Some of the links found here are affiliate links: As an Associate I earn from qualifying purchases by way of commission at no additional cost to you. See full disclaimer here:
Table of Contents
BIO: Dr. Nazanin Moali, Clinical Psychologist and Sexologist
Dr. Nazanin Moali is a licensed clinical psychologist and educator in Torrance California, an expert in eating disorders, chemical dependence, sex addiction, and is an AASECT certified sex therapist. She runs one of the top podcasts in the sex therapy space, the Sexology Podcast, and owner of her private practice, Oasis2Care.
Dr. Nazanin Moali is a sex and relationship expert and has helped many individuals and couples improve their sex lives and restore and achieve deep and passionate connections with their partners. In addition to hosting the top 20 rated Sexology podcast, Dr. Moali launched a similar, top-rated podcast in Farsi in 2016 and has extensive training in treatment of eating disorders an addiction from some of the nation’s leading experts. She is a published researcher who regularly gives talks at major universities and international conferences, and has given therapy advice and information on local television shows. Dr. Moali has her postdoctoral training in sexual wellness and trauma.
If you would like more information about Dr. Moali’s private practice check out her website on Oasis2Care.
https://sexologypodcast.com/about-dr-moali/
Learn More About Sex Therapy From Dr. Nazanin Moali
Connect with Dr. Nazanin Moali
Website and Socials:
- Website: https://oasis2care.com
- Podcast: https://sexologypodcast.com/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Sexologypodcast/videos
- Lin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nazanin-moali-ph-d-9623482a/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast/?hl=en
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/oasis2care#
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care/
Watch The Interview
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out my full playlist of interviews here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnPL9gahfhWatKmy2YSyU0jt20h_jrj3H
Listen To The Interview
Resources On Sex Therapy:
-AASECT Directory: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory
-Books For Sex Therapy Education: https://kit.co/PATRICKMARTINLCSW/books-for-sex-therapy-education
Want to learn more? Check out my top picks for books on self-improvement and recovery HERE!
NEED CRISIS HELP? If you need immediate crisis help with your depression, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741
OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES: See International Suicide Hotlines
WHERE TO FIND MENTAL HEALTH HELP:
-NAMI Referral Helpline: 1-800-950-6264
-California’s Statewide Mental Health Helpline: 1-855-845-7415
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Interview Transcript:
00:00:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
Are you wondering if sex therapy is right for you?
00:00:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Then stick around, because in this episode of the mental health Toolbox, we’re talking with clinical psychologist and sexologist Dr Moali.
00:00:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
But what specifically led you into the world of sex therapy?
00:00:17 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, one thing that I find it very important is that pleasure is a form of actually political activism, right?
00:00:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Claiming pleasure and being able to build a healthy relationship with yourself, with your body.
00:00:32 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Because something that you talked about multi cultural challenges, people are from different cultures there.
00:00:36 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Different, but what I see, which is unfortunately very common, there is this complicated relationship people have with pleasure.
00:00:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
Despite the increase in mental health awareness in recent years, there remains to be a lot of stigma around mental health treatment, and the topic of sex therapy in particular remains somewhat taboo and ambiguous.
00:00:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
In this episode, my aim is to remove some of the ambiguity and help answer the question what is sex therapy?
00:01:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
How does it work and is it right?
00:01:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
For me.
00:01:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
Doctor Nazanin Moali is a licensed clinical psychologist and educator in Torrance, CA, an expert in eating disorders, chemical dependence, sex addiction, and as an AASECT certified sex therapist.
00:01:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
She runs one of the top podcasts in the sex therapy space, The Sexology Podcast, and is the owner.
00:01:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
Of her private practice Oasis2Care. You can learn more about her work by visiting Oasis2Care.com. That’s Oasis2Care.com So let’s go.
00:01:49 Patrick Martin LCSW
Hello Doctor Moali, and thank you so much for making time to be on the mental health Toolbox Video podcast today.
00:01:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
I really appreciate you taking time to share your words of wisdom.
00:02:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
When you want to share a little bit with our audience about who you are and, and I know you have a lot to offer in a lot of different fields around psychology, mental health, so why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself?
00:02:11 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Thank you so.
00:02:12 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Much for your invitation, Patrick, I love your podcast.
00:02:16 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I think it’s great that you give people actionable tools and strategies that they can implement.
00:02:22 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So appreciate that to be part of this mission.
00:02:25 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I’m I’m a clinical psychologist, I’m a licensed in state of California and I I’m also AASECT certified.
00:02:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
My background is I work in the world of addiction, inpatient, outpatient, methadone clinics and also I did my post doctoral residence in treatment of eating disorders.
00:02:47 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And I when people kind of hear about all of this, perhaps I think about.
00:02:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
What’s happening? They are.
00:02:51 Dr. Nazanin Moali
All unrelated, but what happened?
00:02:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Ever since I was a child, I was very comfortable talking about sexual health, sex education.
00:03:00 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That was something I was comfortable talking about it and I was helping as I was helping my clients in.
00:03:05 Dr. Nazanin Moali
My private practice.
00:03:07
People have a.
00:03:07 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Lot of questions about sexual health and uh and the more I was able to talk about, I realized how much there’s a positive information out there.
00:03:16 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that’s why I thought that was necessary for me to get first proper education and training around that and then I added that part of my offerings.
00:03:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
My clients.
00:03:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
Wow, that’s fantastic.
00:03:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
So there’s usually like a path but you know oftentimes in mental health world it whines and we get different experience and.
00:03:37 Patrick Martin LCSW
Different settings, practices, education, right?
00:03:41 Patrick Martin LCSW
And then eventually I think finders stride right, but you seem to have a really sunk your teeth in, right?
00:03:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
You didn’t just dabble in a little, you know, eating disorder.
00:03:51 Patrick Martin LCSW
You did a postdoc and eating disorders.
00:03:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
You didn’t just dabble in substance use or certified there.
00:03:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
You also have, I believe, certification and conflict.
00:03:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
Resolution for couples, right?
00:04:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
So you have.
00:04:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
The the marriage counseling experience there, which makes sense.
00:04:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
That would complement the sex therapy aspect, right?
00:04:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
So yeah.
00:04:11 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, thank you.
00:04:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
A weatlth of information.
00:04:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
You also have one of the top rated podcasts on Sexology.
00:04:13
You’re making me blush.
00:04:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
Absolutely, yeah.
00:04:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
The reason I asked you one is because I have followed you for some time and.
00:04:21 Patrick Martin LCSW
I, you know, professionally in your podcast and on LinkedIn and I just see that, you know, the content you post is so important and I, you know, it’s still, I believe, the taboo subject.
00:04:33 Patrick Martin LCSW
Of sex therapy.
00:04:35 Patrick Martin LCSW
And when I come across clients, who.
00:04:37 Patrick Martin LCSW
Are struggling in that department?
00:04:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
I do oftentimes refer them to your podcast.
00:04:42 Patrick Martin LCSW
So, uh, I because I’ve listened to it, I know it’s legitimate.
00:04:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
I know that the work you’re doing is invaluable and you, you walk, the walk, you know your stuff.
00:04:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
So I really appreciate you being on.
00:04:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
And I know you could speak to eating disorders, which.
00:04:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
As a whole.
00:05:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, large topic in and of itself that we could dive into a mute button specifically, I know you’re passionate about sex therapy.
00:05:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
You run one of the top 20 sexology podcasts in the United States.
00:05:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or is it the world?
00:05:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
I know it’s it’s popular.
00:05:16 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Oh, thank you.
00:05:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
And I know you’re very experienced in sharing your wisdom.
00:05:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
You have another podcast, right?
00:05:21 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s full in Farsi.
00:05:23 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Yeah, yeah.
00:05:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So my first language is Farsi.
00:05:26 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So my English podcast is about interviewing colleagues and researchers because it’s really important for me that the information I’m sharing with my audience is backed by.
00:05:37 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Research and my first issue is just question and answers because there’s.
00:05:42 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Just so many questions.
00:05:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That people have, and that’s what I do every week.
00:05:45 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And I love it.
00:05:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
Excellent, excellent.
00:05:48 Patrick Martin LCSW
I know your doctor in clinical psychology is multicultural, right?
00:05:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
Studies, so I would be curious.
00:05:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
I know that’s maybe a topic for another day, but how these topics even translate between cultures, right?
00:06:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
If it’s taboo in America, I’m sure it’s something you know, could be a very taboo topic elsewhere as well.
00:06:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
And access to care and all of.
00:06:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
So excellent.
00:06:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
So I’m curious then what?
00:06:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
What led you into this field?
00:06:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
I know you said you your experience and your passions, but what specifically led you into the world of sex therapy?
00:06:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, one thing that I find it very important is that pleasure is a form of actually political activism, right?
00:06:32 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Claiming pleasure and being able to build a healthy relationship with yourself, with your body.
00:06:39 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Uh, because something you talked about multi cultural challenges and people are from different cultures that are different.
00:06:45 Dr. Nazanin Moali
But if what I see, which is unfortunately very common, there is this complicated relationship people have with pleasure and they kind of like sometimes people think that they don’t deserve it and I thought that that was a challenge in.
00:06:59 Dr. Nazanin Moali
People coming from all walks of life.
00:07:02 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And when you.
00:07:03 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Kind of rebuild this connection with pleasure when you allow yourself to experience pleasure.
00:07:09 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That can be healing.
00:07:10 Dr. Nazanin Moali
All around because people are coping with their pain through success with unhealthy eating behaviors.
00:07:18 Dr. Nazanin Moali
But if you’re able to work on yourself and your self concept.
00:07:22 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And software and build a healthy relationship with yourself and pleasure and all this kind of wonderful connections that you can build that on its own can be very health healing regardless.
00:07:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Of whether you’re struggling with.
00:07:37 Patrick Martin LCSW
That makes sense.
00:07:37 Patrick Martin LCSW
I mean therapy in general.
00:07:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
We talk a lot about self love, self compassion, protecting time for the self, right?
00:07:44 Patrick Martin LCSW
Filling our cup first before we give it to others, so we don’t burn out, so we don’t contain, contain, contain and then.
00:07:52 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, blow up on people you know or start to get sick, right and systematic.
00:07:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
Stuff come up because of all that containment, right?
00:08:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
We’ve got migraines or stomach pains or other illnesses oftentimes will manifest if we don’t take care of ourselves with our mental health and physical health.
00:08:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
Uhm what?
00:08:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
What do you see in your experience?
00:08:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
What has been one of the biggest hurdles in getting people to buy and or owning the fact that maybe they have not been loving themselves in this way?
00:08:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or any challenges in giving themselves permission to even explore this sometimes taboo subject even in the mental health?
00:08:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
World is not.
00:08:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
I think talked about very much, right?
00:08:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I agree with you.
00:08:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I think one of the biggest challenges is lack of proper sex education.
00:08:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Regardless of what is your belief, your background, I think everyone deserves to have proper sex education and even in the.
00:08:47 Dr. Nazanin Moali
United States there are some.
00:08:49 Dr. Nazanin Moali
States that legally it doesn’t it it’s the schools are not.
00:08:54 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Required to give scientifically based sex education so people from early on start to develop a misinformation about sex.
00:09:03 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And especially for many young women, they see in the media what sexy looks like.
00:09:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They don’t know how it feels like, so they’re very.
00:09:11 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Disconnected with their body.
00:09:12 Dr. Nazanin Moali
that is part of the challenge and also it’s like it’s one thing that people don’t know is common.
00:09:19 Dr. Nazanin Moali
For most people, at some point of their life, part of their lives.
00:09:22 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Are going to struggle with sexual challenges.
00:09:25 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It doesn’t mean that you’re defective, it doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough.
00:09:29 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s just a matter of getting the proper tools and strategies.
00:09:32 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it takes a combination of lack.
00:09:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Of education and also this mindset that if something is wrong, there’s nothing I can do about it.
00:09:41 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I guess sex is not something that that is for me or there’s type of people that they can enjoy from sex and I’m.
00:09:46 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Not one of them.
00:09:47 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s really.
00:09:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Important to examine these narratives that they have and work on unlearning those.
00:09:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
Wow, that makes perfect sense, right?
00:09:57 Patrick Martin LCSW
I mean, think about it.
00:09:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
I don’t, I can’t speak to other cultures, but the American culture, at least growing up, you know, from what I’ve seen has, and I don’t think it’s really changed, is that every, every other people have everything figured out.
00:10:10 Patrick Martin LCSW
And if you don’t, something wrong with you, you know?
00:10:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so sorry, but you missed the boat kind of thing, right?
00:10:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or, you know you’re not supposed to ask questions or not supposed to admit that there’s a problem, right?
00:10:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
Because then people will think less of you like a lot of other areas of life, right?
00:10:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
But this is in particular in the area that I think really hits the self esteem hard.
00:10:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right.
00:10:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And I believe that for most couples sex is the glue that keeps a relationship.
00:10:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
But unfortunately growing up or even in media overall we’re not exposed the correct representation of what is a healthy relationship with a partner.
00:10:51 Dr. Nazanin Moali
People think that everyone else.
00:10:53 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Having more frequency access need to look a certain way and if they have challenges then that I guess that’s it and that’s it.
00:11:02 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So they’re not going to work on it and that’s what leads to many people get disconnected for their partners.
00:11:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And all the challenges that mean you as therapist see in happens in the relationship.
00:11:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
One thing that’s important to keep in mind is the definition of sex is very broad.
00:11:20 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It doesn’t need to be particular behavior, it can be whatever, even your partner decides.
00:11:26 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s just a matter of keeping that connection.
00:11:29 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Alive in your relationship.
00:11:31 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Needless to say, the 2% of people who are their sexual orientation identifies asexual, but it’s very rare that I see both people are kind of like ending up together.
00:11:41 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So most of the time when people are challenged, they have challenges in their relationship.
00:11:45 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s because of lack of information or unaddressed challenges.
00:11:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
In the relationship that shows up as sexual challenges.
00:11:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
That makes perfect sense.
00:11:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
I can even imagine with you know, even the difference in genders not to be not to label things too much, but in the sense.
00:12:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Of just men and machismo.
00:12:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
Even like the idea of even asking for help is mental health is already taboo.
00:12:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
But then admitting that you have.
00:12:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
Problems in that department could definitely become a.
00:12:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
Uh, hurdle right.
00:12:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
Just admitting that there’s a problem.
00:12:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
And for women.
00:12:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
And like you said, the the body image, the assumptions of the role maybe they’re supposed to assume in society.
00:12:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
And and all of those things have been disconnected with themselves.
00:12:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
I can imagine, you know, getting people to both, not just one.
00:12:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s hard to get one person to ask for.
00:12:36 Patrick Martin LCSW
Help getting two people.
00:12:37 Patrick Martin LCSW
To ask for help jointly, I can imagine that’s very challenging.
00:12:42 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Absolutely and most often people will converse with their relationship couples therapies and then they come for sex therapy but the.
00:12:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Beauty of sex therapy is that.
00:12:52 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It can be brief.
00:12:53 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Just because many people don’t have the tools and strategies.
00:12:56 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They can get.
00:12:57 Dr. Nazanin Moali
To get the tools, practice it and the relationship had reset, but.
00:13:02 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Of course there are times that their issues are more complicated and are multi layered, but it’s one of the few areas of therapy.
00:13:10 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They’ve seen people with the preferred model, they get really good results.
00:13:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, good.
00:13:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s good to know.
00:13:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s reassuring.
00:13:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
I think a lot of times when people think about therapy, they still have the idea of the lay on the couch for 10 years and.
00:13:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
Pre associate right until something having a whole moment.
00:13:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
But so it can be very directive, it can be very prescriptive.
00:13:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
It sounds like it can.
00:13:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know you can move the needle pretty quick once you get to work.
00:13:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And that that is very helpful for people to know that it’s not going to be a lifelong commitment.
00:13:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It could be.
00:13:41 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I love therapy myself.
00:13:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I’m in therapy last 10 years because I find it very healing and very supportive of creating a healthy balance in my.
00:13:52 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Life, but it doesn’t necessarily mean to be the same.
00:13:56 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Thing for everyone.
00:13:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
Well said.
00:13:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
Thank you for that.
00:14:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
I’m thinking most therapists have a therapist ’cause they understand the value.
00:14:06 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s very nice to have someone in your corner.
00:14:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
So I’m, you know, so many questions swimming around through my head.
00:14:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
But one that keeps popping up is what does the process look like?
00:14:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
And seeking out a sex therapist because I think pulling the trigger on that, I think for someone who’s not.
00:14:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
Not even.
00:14:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
Even a therapist or non therapist like where?
00:14:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
What are you looking for?
00:14:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
What should one look for in that process of accessing care?
00:14:36 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Excellent questions because there’s just so many misconceptions and also confusing information out there.
00:14:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Sex therapists are people who are licensed therapists, so they could be psychologist, licensed master level clinician.
00:14:52 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So those are people who are often have licensed within their area and they got additional training and sex therapy.
00:15:01 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The reason I’m saying that sometimes people just go to their generalist therapists and although as we talked about therapy, fantastic, but it requires some technical information.
00:15:12 Dr. Nazanin Moali
When you do sex.
00:15:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So my invitation for people is to think about where can I find the resources of that I can find certified sex.
00:15:23 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Service in in United States and in Canada.
00:15:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
There’s this wonderful directory, which is an insect direct.
00:15:32 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I’ll send you the link and.
00:15:33 Patrick Martin LCSW
Thank you.
00:15:33 Dr. Nazanin Moali
All the people who are.
00:15:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Certified sex therapists, the vigorous process, they list their information.
00:15:41 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So we have sex service and then.
00:15:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
With sex, therapy is something that’s important for people.
00:15:45 Dr. Nazanin Moali
To keep in.
00:15:46 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Mind if it’s purely talk therapy because that’s the fear that.
00:15:49 Dr. Nazanin Moali
People have that do I need?
00:15:51 Dr. Nazanin Moali
To undress, do I need to perform anything?
00:15:54 Dr. Nazanin Moali
None of those things similar to what you what you do with your couple surface.
00:15:58 Dr. Nazanin Moali
You’re coming in, you’re calling them, asking them for consultation, and then if you want to do individually or with your partner or partners, all you do is that first session would be kind of like gathering information.
00:16:11 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And the person often helps you with getting reaching the goals that you want.
00:16:16 Dr. Nazanin Moali
What how I do sex therapy is like I help people to identify their goals and we create step by step kind of strategies that they can take to reach their goals.
00:16:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And partly at times it’s going to be an assignment that they do at home.
00:16:31 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And sometimes people have this kind of fear of, oh God, if I go this excerpt is I have to do something that I don’t want to.
00:16:36 Dr. Nazanin Moali
No, right, like great therapists, go with your pace and your goals and having keeping in mind your background and your values.
00:16:44 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s just about helping you to optimize.
00:16:47 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Your life and your relationship itself, self and other.
00:16:52 Dr. Nazanin Moali
We also have sex educators, so people can find sex educators and a SAC directory as well.
00:17:00 Dr. Nazanin Moali
These people are not therapists.
00:17:02 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They all like.
00:17:03 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The minimum they have to have their license.
00:17:05 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And they have to have.
00:17:07 Dr. Nazanin Moali
A bachelor’s degree and license through a sack to do sex education.
00:17:11 Dr. Nazanin Moali
What is?
00:17:11 Dr. Nazanin Moali
What does a sex educator do?
00:17:13 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They can teach with specific skills, like sometimes people hire them to talk to their children about sex, which is very helpful.
00:17:20 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Or they can teach them all, kind of like a PDS and things of those nature that requires some.
00:17:26 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that’s a sex educator.
00:17:29 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And I think one other thing.
00:17:30 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That people need to keep in mind is that.
00:17:33 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Your comfort.
00:17:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
With the person matters.
00:17:36 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So the therapist can be.
00:17:39 Dr. Nazanin Moali
But then when you’re talking to them, you might not find the connection granted talking to.
00:17:45 Dr. Nazanin Moali
About sex, it can be very diff.
00:17:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Because but you feel that.
00:17:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The person is not a good said you’re not able to talk to them after like 2-3 sessions.
00:17:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
My invitation for people to either bring it up or it’s or interview with other people to see who would be a good fit because again, I haven’t seen a person with sexual health challenges that they wanted to change their lives.
00:18:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That we’re not able to do so.
00:18:09 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So there is a person out there that can help you be to create a life that you.
00:18:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
I’m so glad to bring that up.
00:18:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, there’s a saying I remember in my training is that healing takes place in the context of the therapeutic relationship, right, meaning that the relationship matters a lot, the chemistry between the provider and the consumer right or consumers in this case.
00:18:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so you’re echoing that that it’s perfectly reasonable to shop.
00:18:35 Patrick Martin LCSW
Around if you don’t, if you feel like you’re not connecting with your provider ’cause that’s super important, right?
00:18:41 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Absolutely, yes. Yes.
00:18:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I agree with you.
00:18:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The relationship is where the healing happens.
00:18:46 Dr. Nazanin Moali
As you said.
00:18:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
Excellent. All right, so.
00:18:51 Patrick Martin LCSW
Uhm, when?
00:18:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
Someone seeking counseling.
00:18:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
What helps you help them, right?
00:18:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
And like when I think about other types of therapy, you know, specific therapy whether it’s, you know, anxiety or depression or.
00:19:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
Uhm, phobia or OCD or whatever it is specifically.
00:19:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, when you’re talking about the presenting problem when someone seeking out treatment for sex therapy, what can they do on the front end to help your assessment?
00:19:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
Hit the ground.
00:19:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, I think first of all it’s it’s helpful if they kind of.
00:19:31 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Start thinking about things in these different areas.
00:19:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I always talk about this with my clients when they start.
00:19:37 Dr. Nazanin Moali
When there’s a sexual.
00:19:39 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The issue can be one of one of these three areas I’m talking about, or all of them.
00:19:45 Dr. Nazanin Moali
One is the relational issues.
00:19:47 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Many times I have clients that are coming in and they say that I don’t.
00:19:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Want to have sex?
00:19:51 Dr. Nazanin Moali
With my partner or sex like I.
00:19:53 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Have a performance issue.
00:19:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
What we’re talking about so disappointed from what’s happening outside their relationship because of the big carrying maybe history of betrayal, feeling not supported then that’s hard for them to be sexual partner.
00:20:07 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that kind of thinking about what is happening, is it the issue is relational issue, could be physiological I think something else that invite everyone.
00:20:15 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Who struggle with sexual health is to go to your doctor and do some kind of a basic.
00:20:20 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Test it’s most of the time it’s not physiological, but it’s helpful to give you the information.
00:20:26 Dr. Nazanin Moali
For example, sometimes people have performance issues because there’s a hormonal component to it, whether for men or women, people of all gender.
00:20:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s important to do some kind of a test and see what.
00:20:38 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Is happening and the other.
00:20:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Area that invite people to think about it.
00:20:42 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s sexual skills because in reality, so the relationship is important, your health is important, but sexism scale, so it’s important to see, OK, where am I?
00:20:54 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And there’s no shame on not knowing, because most people they learned about sex from their schoolmate when they’re in middle.
00:21:01 Dr. Nazanin Moali
School or they come from poor.
00:21:03 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And no one told them about the skills required.
00:21:06 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So I think also thinking about that is important that when I’m struggling, like because I’m struggling right now, where, what, what is the area that I need to focus on and start thinking about that?
00:21:17 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And in therapy session and then with the clinician they.
00:21:21 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Can kind of.
00:21:21 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Focus on, OK, these are the areas that I think.
00:21:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Is an issue.
00:21:25 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Working on that, and cooperation with their therapists are cultivating the skills that they need.
00:21:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
So sounds like it’s it’s not always just what happens in the context of the bedroom.
00:21:36 Patrick Martin LCSW
A lot of it is the ancillary stuff, right that influences the the state of mind maybe in the bedroom that could be the like you said the communication the.
00:21:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
Approach ability between the partners, right?
00:21:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
The external stressors, I imagine things like financial stress, like said, health factors, right?
00:21:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
All of those things play a part, right?
00:21:57 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so figuring out how to maybe break those, break those up and look at them as individual things, right?
00:22:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Contributing factors.
00:22:05 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That’s right. And sometimes when we are struggling in the bedroom, it impacts our relationships. A common pattern that I see that like one of the partners struggles with performance anxiety and they’re not able to quote, UN quote, perform.
00:22:19 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And then what happens is they they don’t want to feel though.
00:22:22 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They don’t want to be intimate with their partner because they feel embarrassed and they avoid sex.
00:22:28 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And the partner meanwhile thinks that their partner are not desiring them, there is something wrong with them and then therefore it shows up in other parts of the relationship and leads to.
00:22:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Rapture. Possibly for a couple.
00:22:42 Patrick Martin LCSW
OK, so it’s like this negative feedback loop, right?
00:22:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
One person is a shame, the other person feels.
00:22:48 Patrick Martin LCSW
Uhm, rejected. Yeah, and then.
00:22:52 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s just kind of thing that, yeah, that goes into a lot of.
00:22:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
Assumptions, right? What’s not?
00:22:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
Said right, it’s not communicated directly is left to assumption and sometimes that’s not a good thing.
00:23:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
Most the time.
00:23:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right, have you noticed any?
00:23:06 Patrick Martin LCSW
And it’s my this is.
00:23:10 Patrick Martin LCSW
A silly question, let me know.
00:23:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
But I’m wondering, do you see any kind of ratio or pattern in terms of like the most prominent issues you come across, maybe some of the easier ones to address and some of the more complex ones?
00:23:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So my, I guess like the disclaimer is majority.
00:23:29 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, in my practice are heterosexual individuals and couples.
00:23:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Uh, that they are in a kind of a dress, sexual, mostly monogamous relationship.
00:23:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that that’s what I see in my practice.
00:23:45 Dr. Nazanin Moali
But I think the demographic kind of like in a way defines we find that.
00:23:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
Thank you for clarifying that.
00:23:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So the challenges I see in among couples, one is desire discrepancy.
00:23:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So one partner wants sex more, the other partner wants it less, and that creates a challenge.
00:24:01 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that that is one of the things I see.
00:24:04 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I see a lot of performance issues.
00:24:06 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Whether for men and women both I’m doing relatively easy to dress because thank God we have really good solid protocols and research based strategies and helping people to overcome any performance issues that they have.
00:24:22 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that’s that is part of that the other thing.
00:24:26 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That I see.
00:24:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
For couples is struggles to connect.
00:24:30 Dr. Nazanin Moali
After experiencing betrayal, so most couples what happens is when there is betrayal, there’s cheating.
00:24:38 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They go to public therapists and they work on, hopefully they work on some part of the kind of like the challenges in their relationship, but if there it was a sexual instability that can show up in their sex life so.
00:24:51 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right.
00:24:51 Patrick Martin LCSW
I wasn’t thinking about that, but yeah, of course, right.
00:24:53 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Yeah, yeah.
00:24:54 Dr. Nazanin Moali
There’s just like so many people that they want to say, OK, we want to put that behind us.
00:24:54
I mean.
00:24:59 Dr. Nazanin Moali
We want to connect sexually and I have individuals that is saying that I we’re, I’m getting slaughtered by the memory of my partner being another person.
00:25:06 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that’s that is part of it.
00:25:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
On the individual front, uhm, there are for for Recon performance issues.
00:25:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Are common for many women.
00:25:18 Dr. Nazanin Moali
What I what I find very helpful that that, that.
00:25:21 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s my own personal experience that also led me to sex therapy is painful intercourse.
00:25:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s unfortunately very common.
00:25:30 Dr. Nazanin Moali
There is a it’s definitely.
00:25:33 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Uh, prevalent and Western communities. But I know that even real research holds that 40% of women from more conservative background they experienced sexual pain during intercourse at some point of their life.
00:25:47 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And the solution is they can.
00:25:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
There’s steps and strategies that will help you to be able to have great experiences.
00:25:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I that’s how I I was a graduate student. I didn’t even know that the field of sex therapy exists, that I was referred to a sex therapist because of the painful experiences I had. And now 2525.
00:26:07 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Years, 20 years later, I never had.
00:26:09 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Those experiences so success, we can help you too.
00:26:12 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Eradicate that as well.
00:26:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And I think also low desire is something that we see that can be complicated, but when you learn what leads to low desire for you specifically, I’m sorry for people of all gender, you learn how to tackle it.
00:26:28 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that’s also.
00:26:29 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Something else that I see.
00:26:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
Makes sense, yeah.
00:26:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
Libido, right?
00:26:35 Patrick Martin LCSW
Sometimes different needs, right?
00:26:38 Patrick Martin LCSW
Start trying it in the same page.
00:26:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
And I had no idea that that was such a high percentage of women.
00:26:43 Patrick Martin LCSW
Who has you know struggle with pain in that department.
00:26:46 Patrick Martin LCSW
So that’s an important I think aspect to understand as well and the reason I you know I I really appreciate you sharing this information ’cause for many of our listeners.
00:26:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
Because this is such a taboo subject, oftentimes unless someone is doing a lot of digging on their own, a lot of research, this no, you know.
00:27:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
Well, you don’t know what you don’t know.
00:27:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right.
00:27:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
And people oftentimes think that they’re the only one.
00:27:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or they’re kind of the odd man out, odd woman out.
00:27:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
So I think it’s helpful to understand that the prevalence of.
00:27:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
A lot of these things.
00:27:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know.
00:27:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Right.
00:27:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And the misinformation that I remember when I was struggling, first person I talked to was my gynecologist, was a mail provider.
00:27:22 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And he said.
00:27:23 Dr. Nazanin Moali
You know, I don’t see anything to be logically right.
00:27:26 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Perhaps we.
00:27:28 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Can drink a.
00:27:28 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Glass of wine and I would be more comfortable like numbing their pain.
00:27:32 Dr. Nazanin Moali
How would that be the solution?
00:27:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
Take the edge off there.
00:27:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Right, that they just.
00:27:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, meaning people give you advice that you try and stop working and then it leads to you feeling more hopeless.
00:27:42 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it I I appreciate that you’re talking about people doing their own research and stuff like thinking about what are some of the two.
00:27:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Rules that you can incorporate and just a matter of cultivating took tools and strategies to eradicate pain.
00:27:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And one really important thing for people to keep in mind that regardless of type of sexual act you’re doing, unless you want it to be painful, it shouldn’t be painful, right?
00:28:06 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That like if it’s painful, you have to stop.
00:28:09 Dr. Nazanin Moali
There’s something wrong.
00:28:10 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Your body gives you the signal that I’m not ready or this is not working for me.
00:28:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
So communication absolutely with your partner, right, instead of just trying to white knuckle it, you know, for their sake or whatever, you know, guilt and all this stuff that comes with that and sense of responsibility.
00:28:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
And I’m sure all of that can play a part as well, culturally speaking.
00:28:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right. We’re all one is.
00:28:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
Supposed to take in a relationship.
00:28:33 Patrick Martin LCSW
So, yeah, absolutely.
00:28:36 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right, so lots of tools available, which is reassuring, right?
00:28:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
For everyone.
00:28:41
What are some?
00:28:42 Patrick Martin LCSW
Of the UM, the barriers where some of the challenges that you have come across that can derail.
00:28:49 Patrick Martin LCSW
Sex therapy or progress I should.
00:28:52 Patrick Martin LCSW
Say this maybe some of the pitfalls.
00:28:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I guess one thing is that to kind of like the first, first thing that comes to my mind is that people think about just going to a sex therapist on its own.
00:29:06 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, you will see the results.
00:29:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s it’s great, but it’s like, you know, going to physical therapist and not doing their exercises.
00:29:15 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s important for you to.
00:29:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
Very analogy.
00:29:17 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Practice this strategy implemented in your relationship.
00:29:21 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And see if it’s working or not.
00:29:23 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That that is one thing.
00:29:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The other thing is I hear and I’m sure you hear that at times I think for all types of therapy people say like I went to therapy and didn’t work and I asked him how many sessions you want this one session.
00:29:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Right, like the first session, you’re just gathering information like you.
00:29:39 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Like therapists can give you some gems that you can apply, but it’s not going to be remote.
00:29:44 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Majority of people wouldn’t be enough to see the results.
00:29:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So I would say that if you want to see result, if you find someone that’s imagine if you.
00:29:54 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Other kind of have the tools and strategies, just stay with it for doing sessions and see what happens.
00:30:02 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The other thing that’s important for people to think about is a mindset piece and like thinking about that.
00:30:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It doesn’t work that for me or I never been sexual or sexual.
00:30:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And something that wasn’t working for me.
00:30:16 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s really important for people to think.
00:30:18 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Think about.
00:30:19 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Uh, like I deserve to experience pleasure regardless of your background.
00:30:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I I truly believe it’s connected to sexual right as human rights that for you to be able to experience pleasure and lean into it.
00:30:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So I think that’s kind of like the thought that I’m not deserving also that.
00:30:39 Dr. Nazanin Moali
That can get in a way.
00:30:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
So the belief system, like you said before, the narratives, right?
00:30:43 Patrick Martin LCSW
Oftentimes maybe we’re taught growing up.
00:30:46 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right.
00:30:46 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And yeah, absolutely love you.
00:30:46 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or what it looks like.
00:30:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
You got me so excited.
00:30:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And yes, I know for many people, all of those big teen, small T traumas they experience during sexual encounters, the messages they got, we both know that how our and our field right now, semantic therapy is a huge thing.
00:31:07 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And our body remembers things.
00:31:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So if you have bad experiences, that also can lead to your how you enthusiastic you are about sex.
00:31:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
There’s that there’s a book about.
00:31:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
That your body keeps the score.
00:31:18 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Right, right.
00:31:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, yeah.
00:31:19 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I love that book.
00:31:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, absolutely.
00:31:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
So something to consider, right, ’cause sometimes I imagine sex therapy when you’re talking about these things, you can really open up a a deep well of other history, be that trauma, right, which can be helpful, I imagine for a partner to understand maybe the context that they didn’t necessarily take in consideration before.
00:31:41 Patrick Martin LCSW
Because we’re all kind of egocentric, right?
00:31:43 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so I assume everything is about ourselves, but if a partner hasn’t shared, you know, the extent of their sexual trauma or how that.
00:31:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
How about that might come up during their own intercourse as a couple, right?
00:31:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
I imagine that’s that would be invaluable.
00:31:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
Like to unpack.
00:31:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
And therapy.
00:31:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, as a as.
00:32:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
A hurdle, right?
00:32:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
Something that can be addressed?
00:32:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
Something to be talked about, right?
00:32:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
Sensitive to at least.
00:32:06 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And sometimes you just don’t have that memory.
00:32:09 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I had many.
00:32:10 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Couples that as we work through things and they slowly start remembering things and I don’t want people to think about, you have to resolve all of your issues to have great sex.
00:32:21 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s just like there are different puzzles that like if you put the puzzles together.
00:32:26 Dr. Nazanin Moali
You might get more information about what are some of the barriers.
00:32:30 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Uh, and of course it’s your story if you want to share it with your partner or not, but it’s important to be able to recognize that role.
00:32:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
All of these are playing and one of the wonderful things that one of my colleagues.
00:32:44 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Said doctor Bocci ball.
00:32:46 Dr. Nazanin Moali
She talks about sex because sex as sex.
00:32:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Being a point system.
00:32:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s like, for example, you might need 100 points in order to have good enough sexual experiences and that could be come from different places. So maybe you’re working out of your trauma and gives you 30%.
00:33:02 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Additional improvement or could maybe you can change on.
00:33:05 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Your lifestyle.
00:33:07 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Because we know sleep, diet, all of those things are important.
00:33:10 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So maybe that can give you additional 60% and the other 20% can come from the relationships and sexual skills.
00:33:17 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So can I’m thinking about like where can I get points in order to be able to have?
00:33:21 Dr. Nazanin Moali
The experiences I want.
00:33:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
I really like that ’cause then it it makes it more tangible, right?
00:33:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
As far as like it’s not this kind of ambiguous monster.
00:33:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
And trying to tackle right our puzzle you’re trying to solve like I like the point system thing because that meat that gives us, it’s empowering.
00:33:38 Patrick Martin LCSW
It would be for me like, OK, so if I can get, you know, 20 points toward my 100 just by changing these things in my diet.
00:33:44 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, AKA like.
00:33:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
For men, circulation, things of that sort.
00:33:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
Maybe some weight loss, you know, eating healthier, eating your vegetables, right?
00:33:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
All that important stuff which you know your healthy fats and all, you know, the men food as it’s called, right?
00:34:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
If you can get points back, you know on those low hanging fruit type you know.
00:34:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
No pun intended but.
00:34:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
Uhm, you know that’s reassuring, right?
00:34:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
’cause that’s something, right?
00:34:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
Toward the goal.
00:34:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right.
00:34:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
Kind of gamify it a little bit, yeah.
00:34:16 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And again can come from all the places some people are changing of lifestyle is easier for them and then you can they can go all in there.
00:34:23 Dr. Nazanin Moali
For some people, their relationship pieces or strength, you can get point there.
00:34:28 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So it’s not a one size.
00:34:31 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Fits all so.
00:34:32 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I I agree with you that points them off and also resonated.
00:34:35 Dr. Nazanin Moali
My clients a lot because then.
00:34:37 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They can see what they need to do.
00:34:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
I like that.
00:34:41 Patrick Martin LCSW
So that’s why.
00:34:42 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s why I asked you on.
00:34:43 Patrick Martin LCSW
’cause you know.
00:34:44 Patrick Martin LCSW
I knew you would simplify and demystify this stuff.
00:34:46 Patrick Martin LCSW
For us.
00:34:46 Patrick Martin LCSW
So I appreciate that.
00:34:49 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Thank you. It’s.
00:34:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s my it was my pleasure to be part of your show.
00:34:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yes, thank you.
00:34:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
I’m wondering too, uhm, I know you provided the aisect as a directory, right?
00:35:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
Which is great, ’cause, you know, sometimes psychologytoday doesn’t cut it, you know?
00:35:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
And we’re looking for something really niche, right?
00:35:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
What about other resources?
00:35:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
If somebody wants to educate themselves or, you know, a couple wants to educate themselves before seeking out counseling to maybe get some frame of reference, what are some good resources to tap into any off the top of your head?
00:35:24 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So there is this website actually from.
00:35:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Cancer Institute.
00:35:28 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I recommended for one.
00:35:29 Dr. Nazanin Moali
?com, it teaches you the skills that you might not have learn anywhere else, and it’s not born just from women talking about what.
00:35:41 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Works for them.
00:35:42 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And even with my most conservative clients, that’s resonate well with them and also it might show talk.
00:35:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
About signs of sex and pleasure with other colleagues that they kind of like have research on.
00:35:54 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Those are also having sex education.
00:35:57 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Honestly, proper sex education with your partner I think it would be very helpful so we can look at check out my podcast technology.
00:36:05 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And I think overall.
00:36:06 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Podcasts like listening with your partner, I think would.
00:36:08 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Be really good.
00:36:09 Dr. Nazanin Moali
There are several great podcasts out there that keep people listen and kind of like talk about it with your partner that could be that could be a good resource.
00:36:18 Dr. Nazanin Moali
For men, there is this wonderful book that my colleague wrote.
00:36:23 Dr. Nazanin Moali
She’s yelling sax and it’s talk about all aspects of male sexual health from the kind of like going through different stages to sexual dysfunctions to kind of like challenges with you.
00:36:38 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Partner sexual and how you can support them.
00:36:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So that is also very good resource.
00:36:43 Dr. Nazanin Moali
And for women one of the very well known books are the she comes.
00:36:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
First by uh internal data partners like they teaches partners their skills to how they can support their partner and Emily Nagoski book also find Doctor Emily got this book it’s fantastic come as you are like it gives lots of good information so.
00:37:09 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Yeah, I, I interviewed all of those colleagues as well.
00:37:11 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So I think like reading with your partner, listening with your partner.
00:37:15 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Regarding uh like.
00:37:17 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Depending on what your learning style, that can be really positive.
00:37:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
See, that’s why I asked.
00:37:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
I hadn’t asked.
00:37:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
I wouldn’t have known.
00:37:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s fantastic.
00:37:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
Thank you.
00:37:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
Much doctor marsh.
00:37:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
Appreciate it.
00:37:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
And I really want to respect your time.
00:37:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
I could keep going.
00:37:33 Patrick Martin LCSW
So many questions, such a great feel that I just don’t think he’s talked about enough.
00:37:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
For those of our listeners or viewers who want to dive in, learn more about you and the work you’re doing, where?
00:37:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
Where can we find you?
00:37:46 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Or they can check out my podcast at sexologypodcast.com. It has all the information about my podcast episode.
00:37:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I do blog Weekly so they can find information there and they can find out.
00:38:00 Dr. Nazanin Moali
All the resources.
00:38:01 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So, well, thank you.
00:38:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yes, this is your website, right?
00:38:04 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Yes, yes.
00:38:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
So sexology, right?
00:38:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
I love your I I really.
00:38:10 Patrick Martin LCSW
I’ve always been a fan of your thumb.
00:38:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
Your logo, it’s very pretty crafty.
00:38:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Thank you.
00:38:16 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Appreciate that.
00:38:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
So yes, absolutely so.
00:38:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
You obviously have a renowned podcast right?
00:38:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
Sexology podcast.
00:38:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
This is your website.
00:38:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
This links to your podcast I imagine up here podcast episode.
00:38:29 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So they have the episodes there.
00:38:31 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Yes, and people can go from the.
00:38:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
OK.
00:38:32 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Home page as well.
00:38:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
Excellent, excellent.
00:38:35 Patrick Martin LCSW
You have a course.
00:38:37 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Yeah, yeah, I.
00:38:37 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Actually have two parts.
00:38:38 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s wonderful couples.
00:38:40 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Uh, it kind of like desire discrepancy and I have one workshop actually for men or struggling with performance issues.
00:38:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
They can attend it with their partner, or they can attend that alone.
00:38:52 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So I I teach them all the skills they would require to.
00:38:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
A pleasure partner and.
00:38:57 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Also themselves to have a great experience.
00:39:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
I love their titles.
00:39:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
They’re very crafty.
00:39:03 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Thank you.
00:39:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
There’s also simple.
00:39:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
So you’ve also been featured in Men’s health Insider, Huffington Post, Yahoo. I mean, yeah, you’re definitely, I know you’re, I know you’re a popular therapist in the LA area.
00:39:17 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, thank you.
00:39:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
So yeah, it shows, yeah.
00:39:18 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s very kind of you to say I love this wonderful thing.
00:39:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
Very true.
00:39:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
Uhm, excellent.
00:39:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
And your socials?
00:39:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
Are you on social?
00:39:27 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Sure, I think.
00:39:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
And I are in Lincoln.
00:39:28 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s yeah you could give people can change.
00:39:30 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Check it out like in Oasis2Care on Instagram.
00:39:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Also they can check out the handle is at Technology podcast and yeah so and there’s the the links also and the wheel of their website as well and I saw the YouTube channel.
00:39:47 Dr. Nazanin Moali
So they can just Google my.
00:39:48 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Name there as well to give kind.
00:39:50 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Of like video learning is.
00:39:51 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Something that you you prefer?
00:39:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
You have a YouTube channel.
00:39:55 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Yeah, yeah.
00:39:56 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Like if people could not anymore holiday, they can find it there.
00:40:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
Like you’re hiding this.
00:40:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
You’re like, holding out on me here.
00:40:04 Dr. Nazanin Moali
It’s a new, I think like I’ve.
00:40:05 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Been doing it couple, couple months.
00:40:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yes, yes.
00:40:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
With the nature of our short attention spans these days, I think video is definitely appreciated.
00:40:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
Excellent. And your practice is called oasisdaycare.com with the number 2 right?
00:40:18
Yeah, yeah.
00:40:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
All right.
00:40:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
Well, thank you so much, Doctor.
00:40:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
Molly, I just can’t say thank you enough for making time today.
00:40:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
I know you’re a busy, busy woman and got lots on your plate, so I do appreciate it.
00:40:34 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Well, thank you Patrick for having me on.
00:40:36 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Thank you for creating this wonderful resource for the Community and being so generous with your time.
00:40:43 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yes, it’s my passion project, my pleasure to raise mental health awareness and uhm, you know, in all its aspects.
00:40:49 Patrick Martin LCSW
So thank you so much and I I wish you a fantastic week.
00:40:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
And if it’s not too much to ask, maybe I’ll have you.
00:40:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
Back on down.
00:40:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
The road like I’m sure we can, we can go down lots of lots of different rabbit trails between sex therapy and.
00:40:56 Dr. Nazanin Moali
I would be happy to.
00:41:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Eating disorders and substance abuse, I mean you.
00:41:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
You’ve done it also.
00:41:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
Do appreciate you alright, feel free to use the link anytime you want to jump back on to self schedule you.
00:41:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
Can you’re always welcome.
00:41:14 Dr. Nazanin Moali
Thank you.
00:41:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
Alright, thank you so much.
00:41:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
Well, I hope you found that helpful and informative. Hey, if there’s any specific questions you would like Doctor Moali to answer around sex therapy, eating disorders, or chemical dependence, please just let us know in the comments below and I’ll see about having her back on the show to do a little Q&A. Hey, if you’re getting value and you haven’t done so already, be sure to hit the like button.
00:41:37 Patrick Martin LCSW
On this video and subscribe to the mental health toolbox YouTube channel and podcast. If you’re listening to this on the podcast, I would greatly appreciate it.
00:41:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
If you are getting value, please take just a minute and leave a review.
00:41:49 Patrick Martin LCSW
It really helps to push the podcast out to more people and raise mental health awareness and also be sure to share with family and friends.
00:41:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
All right, so there you go.
00:41:57 Patrick Martin LCSW
Another tool to help you thrive.
00:41:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
Until next time.
00:42:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
Make good things happen by now.
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