Are you or someone you know struggling with sobriety?
Then stick around, because in this episode of the Mental Health Toolbox, we are talking with Navy Veteran, Colleen Ryan-Hensley, founder of the #BingingSober Movement.
In today’s society, abstinence can be seen as the only “moral” way to approach addiction. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. In this post, I’m sharing #BingingSober vs Abstinence: Redefining Mental Toughness Can Expedite Recovery, with Colleen Ryan-Hensley.
Mental toughness is key when it comes to overcoming addiction. Unfortunately, many people define mental toughness in a way that denies addiction exists. In this episode, Colleen Ryan-Hensley shares her story of breaking free from an addiction using a new definition of mental toughness that acknowledges addiction exists and can be overcome. If you’re looking for an alternative to abstinence, then read on.
*Some of the links found here are affiliate links: As an Associate I earn from qualifying purchases by way of commission at no additional cost to you. See full disclaimer here:
Table of Contents
BIO:
Escapism is the single biggest threat to the health of our society and the #1 cause of the current mental health crisis.
What is #BingingSober?An online educational resource to guide you through the practice of #BingingSober. Once the foundation is set, a personally tailored point system is constructed – a blueprint for living well. Point values are assigned to habits and used to redirect energy to where you need it the most. The result is increased awareness, control and balance of your life.
https://www.bingingsober.com/
Learn More About Colleen Ryan-Hensley And The #BingingSober Movement
CONTACT AND SOCIALS:
-Website: https://www.bingingsober.com
-Instagram: https://instagram.com/colleenryanhensley
-Lin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cryanhensley/
Watch The Interview
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out my full playlist of interviews here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnPL9gahfhWatKmy2YSyU0jt20h_jrj3H
Listen To The Interview
*Some of the links are affiliate links: As an Associate I earn from qualifying purchases by way of commission at no additional cost to you.
Want to learn more? Check out my top picks for books on self-improvement and recovery HERE!
It is my mission to equip you with valuable and effective coping skills and clinical interventions, to improve your mood, be more productive and improve your quality of life, so you can do more, and worry less.
NEED CRISIS HELP? If you need immediate crisis help with your depression, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741
OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES: See International Suicide Hotlines
WHERE TO FIND MENTAL HEALTH HELP:
-NAMI Referral Helpline: 1-800-950-6264
-California’s Statewide Mental Health Helpline: 1-855-845-7415
ASK: If you have a question you’d like me to answer here on the blog (even if you think it’s a silly one!), please use the form on the CONTACT ME page, or the comment section below. I would be happy to take a poke at it and provide a long form answer when appropriate.
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TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
The spectrum is habitual.
00:00:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Escapism, like you’re saying the hemorrhaging to purposeful conscious escape.
00:00:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We all escape.
00:00:08 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s a natural part of life.
00:00:10 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Nothing wrong with that, but to be able to manage it.
00:00:13 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Be aware of it, balance it, control it, manage it, then you’re managing your energy as well and we’re all running around sick.
00:00:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And tired and wondering why?
00:00:22 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We’re binge eating, binge drinking, binge watching, binge shopping, doing all of these things.
00:00:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Trying to make ourselves feel better.
00:00:30 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And reach this ideal mental state that none of those things in excess and abuse are going to get us there.
00:00:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So you know, for me, you know.
00:00:39 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
When I say.
00:00:39 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Binging sober the sober is a lack of intoxication from any of these unhealthy mind numbing things that you may lean on, and it’s different for all of us and those things impact all of us differently, so it’s.
00:00:50 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A very you know individualized idea.
00:00:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
Are you or someone you know struggling with sobriety? Then stick around? Because in this episode of the mental Health Toolbox we are talking with Colleen Ryan Hensley, who is a 10 year Navy veteran mental health advocate and mental health toughness expert, founder of #binging sober, a rewards based system.
00:01:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
That enables people to develop steps, habits, and beliefs that impact their vitality.
00:01:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
Colleen shares the process that she has used to thrive with depression, alcohol abuse and post traumatic stress.
00:01:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
So let’s.
00:01:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
You can learn more about Colleen’s work by visiting her sitebingingsober.com. I’ll be sure to link up to all of the resources in the description as usual.
00:01:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
Hey, if you’re getting value from this content and you haven’t done so already, be sure to like this video and subscribe to the HD YouTube channel.
00:01:46 Patrick Martin LCSW
You can also visit the MHT podcast.
00:01:48 Patrick Martin LCSW
On Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found, if you relieve a review on Apple Podcasts, it does help to grow the channel and reach more people.
00:01:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
If you haven’t done so already, be sure to subscribe to the MHT newsletter.
00:02:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
That way you don’t miss out on any new content as it’s released and I have some freebies waiting for you there as my way.
00:02:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
To say thank you.
00:02:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
Welcome Colleen to the mental health toolbox.
00:02:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
Thank you so much for making time to be on today.
00:02:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
First of all, thank you for your service and I love the work you’re doing around sobriety, and I’m excited to dive in and hear more about your journey, which I know is multilayered and multifaceted and all of the Nuggets of wisdom you’ve gleaned from your experience to share with our listeners.
00:02:36 Patrick Martin LCSW
On how to leverage.
00:02:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
Personal development tools and skills to thrive and maintain sobriety.
00:02:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
So let’s do it.
00:02:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
You want to share a little bit about yourself and what you what you’re about and what you what you have to share your experience.
00:02:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of course, well, first of all, thank you so much for having me, and it was totally my honor to serve in the Navy.
00:03:02 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
The world’s greatest Navy. I got out.
00:03:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
12 years ago.
00:03:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So I’ve been in for 11.
00:03:06 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’ve been out longer which.
00:03:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Seems insane to me.
00:03:09 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s like a totally different lifetime.
00:03:11 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know my my background is in performance psychology.
00:03:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, I bet.
00:03:16 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I got interested in that in the military.
00:03:21 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I recently developed a program called #binging sober that I developed from a process that I’ve been using for two decades inside and outside of the Navy. Now I formally developed it recently because I.
00:03:42 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I healed.
00:03:44 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I am a huge mental health advocate and.
00:03:48 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Buried a trauma for 15 years and so I really have made it my mission to redefine what we consider our mental toughness as a society.
00:04:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Because in my story.
00:04:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
My mental toughness.
00:04:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I totally latched onto before the military and during the military really stood in the way of my healing, so I mean, that’s really, you know, the kind.
00:04:17 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of the basis of of.
00:04:19 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Why I’m here?
00:04:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
To talk to you?
00:04:21 Patrick Martin LCSW
Ohh, I appreciate that and I imagine that’s not a unique.
00:04:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
Experience is learning how to stuff.
00:04:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
Contain your feelings in order to assimilate to that lifestyle.
00:04:35 Patrick Martin LCSW
And now I never served, so I’m Speaking of course, as a as a noob, but I really.
00:04:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
Have no I, you know no personal experience in serving, but I do hear that a lot with people I’ve interviewed and people.
00:04:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
I have known personally who have served is that it is a process learning to.
00:04:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
Have thin skin again after you get out right to not be as guarded to honor your feelings and and open up to people and trust other people too with those feelings right?
00:05:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
Because again, I can’t speak from any personal experience, but I understand I could understand there’s a certain.
00:05:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
Mindset you have to get into in order to thrive in that type of envy.
00:05:16 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s mission first.
00:05:17 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I mean, you’re really not thinking about.
00:05:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yourself, but for.
00:05:19 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Me, it started before that it started.
00:05:21 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Before that I was depressed in my adolescence.
00:05:25 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
My parents were divorced or getting divorced, so it’s a pretty.
00:05:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It was a pretty unhealthy environment at home for a while until my father, you know, until they separated.
00:05:35 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s actually when.
00:05:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It got better.
00:05:38 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And then my grandfather, who served in the Navy as you and I were just talking about.
00:05:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
He really inspired my Navy service.
00:05:46 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So I always wanted to join the Navy since I was a little bitty listening to his story.
00:05:50 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
He passed unexpectedly.
00:05:52 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
He was my main source of support and just comfort and just my male role model.
00:05:57 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So that was really difficult for me.
00:05:59 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s really when I started burying things and using these unhealthy mind numbing.
00:06:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Substances and escapism.
00:06:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
SMS to start burying those feelings. When I joined the Navy at 21, that’s when I felt mentally and physically ready and it was just kind of like the next step for me. Because, you know, growing up in the.
00:06:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
80s Nobody was talking about.
00:06:21 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Any of this?
00:06:22 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I didn’t know what was quote wrong with me.
00:06:25 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There was nothing wrong, but I was being treated that way.
00:06:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
My parents were worried, you know, my school counselors were worried, you know all the et cetera, et cetera.
00:06:34 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And it was more of this.
00:06:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game.
00:06:39 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Type of mental toughness which I totally, totally understand it’s necessary to, you know, thrive during stressful situations and during challenges.
00:06:48 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of course, this resilience is important, but
00:06:52 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’m sure I.
00:06:53 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Don’t have to tell you that a lot of times during those stressful situations you know there’s residual energy.
00:06:59 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s residual feelings.
00:07:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s things that we’ve been.
00:07:02 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Taught to as a.
00:07:03 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Society not even just the military.
00:07:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I mean the military just kind of takes it one step further.
00:07:08 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
But as a.
00:07:09 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Society we’re not used to talking about things.
00:07:12 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We’re not used to.
00:07:14 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And embracing this entire half of the spectrum of emotions and pain and discomfort and trauma, we’re not used to embracing.
00:07:23 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Embracing it as a just natural part of a whole life.
00:07:28 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yet I think we’re on our way, but that’s what I mean when I talk about redefining mental toughness to not just include the resilience.
00:07:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Portion, but go back to the feelings that were left behind.
00:07:39 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Go back to that experience and and and process it later.
00:07:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Make sure that you do because that’s the kind of stuff that then leads to all of this.
00:07:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Habitual escapism that we’re all experiencing.
00:07:52 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Thing I believe it’s the number one threat to our mental health as a society is all of these things that we have access in excess.
00:08:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s so much of it.
00:08:02 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And it’s distracting us from living our real lives and what triggers that a lot of times are those feelings that we left behind.
00:08:13 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Because we’re not used to going back.
00:08:14 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And dealing with them.
00:08:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
I would even yeah, I agree 100% and I would even go a step further and.
00:08:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
Say that even outside of maybe vices, right?
00:08:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
I mean protected time to have quiet peace, time to think, time to be with ourselves is kind of a a challenge, right?
00:08:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
Because there’s so many things competing for our attention which add to the stress and our stressors right?
00:08:41 Patrick Martin LCSW
That could also lead to escapism.
00:08:44 Patrick Martin LCSW
For their escapism, right?
00:08:46 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Downward spiral.
00:08:48 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so many so many people I talked to so many clients I’ve I’ve dealt with one of the main complaints I have is the racing thoughts before bed.
00:08:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
The anxiety at bedtime.
00:08:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
Why is it always at night time and you know it almost always points back to the fact that there’s not enough.
00:09:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, quiet time for the brain during the day to decompress to process.
00:09:06 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Exactly, and that’s like that.
00:09:08 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Self connection comes before the self regulation that a lot of people are lacking that also, you know contributes to that spiral of escape and that spiral.
00:09:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I keep saying it because I’m sure you’ve seen it in all of these stats and mental health and suicide the downward spiral they were caught in a downward spiral.
00:09:26 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Well, that takes.
00:09:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
All of the power and all of the responsibility off of that person, and so it’s so important that we do own.
00:09:33 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I mean exactly like.
00:09:34 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You’re saying, take the time, make the space and and reflect.
00:09:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right?
00:09:40 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And you’ll be.
00:09:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Able to develop that willpower that then gives you more peace throughout your day and the ability to control and manage these distractions that are just overwhelming.
00:09:51 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
If we don’t control them, they’re controlling us.
00:09:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
Absolutely goes back to that.
00:09:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
That frame of mind that ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure right takes so much longer to recover from burnout, which I know is kind of a catch phrase these days.
00:10:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
But burnouts are a real problem, and that’s why it’s getting so much attention, and for good reason.
00:10:10 Patrick Martin LCSW
But it takes a lot longer to recover from burnout.
00:10:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or addiction than it does to maintain mental health.
00:10:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
Incrementally, right, consistently.
00:10:22 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Would you because?
00:10:23 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
From my perspective, you know I’ve been asking a.
00:10:26 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Lot of.
00:10:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Experts in mental health lately like.
00:10:30 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Do you feel like there is a place for.
00:10:35 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A place, and I guess I guess like the space and the access and do.
00:10:42 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You feel like.
00:10:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Proactive preventative mental health is a thing yet.
00:10:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Or do you feel like a lot of people you see a lot of people in crisis and that’s it?
00:10:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
I feel like.
00:10:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
Definitely a thing, but I feel like it’s been packaged under different.
00:11:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know different labels.
00:11:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Life coaching and life.
00:11:06 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right?
00:11:06 Patrick Martin LCSW
Which is why I you know if you remember about 10 years ago because the word mental health has so much stigma wrapped around it.
00:11:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
So taboo, that’s when you started seeing these Wellness centers.
00:11:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
Pop-up Wellness is a lot.
00:11:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
More an acceptable term.
00:11:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
Such as mental toughness.
00:11:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
And when we say mental health, right?
00:11:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
Mental health.
00:11:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
Oh, there’s something wrong with you right now.
00:11:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
Now it’s getting cooler to see if therapist, but that wasn’t always the case and it’s for a lot of people and a lot of populations.
00:11:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s still very stigmatizing, and there’s still a lot of friction and the big.
00:11:38 Patrick Martin LCSW
Matter is worse I.
00:11:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
People don’t realize who haven’t tried to work on themselves, at least formally.
00:11:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
Is that it’s not as simple as picking up a phone and saying, oh I’m ready to see.
00:11:49 Patrick Martin LCSW
A therapist now.
00:11:51
Right?
00:11:51 Patrick Martin LCSW
Ohh I can see you in six.
00:11:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
Months, right months.
00:11:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
What do you mean it takes 3 months to see a psychiatrist and so access to care even and you know, in spite of the pandemic.
00:12:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Which is horrible, right? It has opened up a lot of doors to access to caribia telehealth. But even with that, now that everyone’s on board with telehealth, it’s still. It’s still a supply and demand issue. And so you know.
00:12:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
The work you’re doing is is.
00:12:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
Crucial because it’s raising more awareness around.
00:12:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
Personal hygiene, self mental hygiene, self-care. It’s not just.
00:12:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
As simple as ohh you know go talk to someone or process your feelings.
00:12:35 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s a holistic approach and we have to take a very proactive approach when it comes to taking care of our mental health because it’s not something else that’s going to get fixed overnight by somebody else when you’re ready.
00:12:47 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah, yeah, and that’s I mean that’s with fellow veterans that I’ve talked to with, you know, a lot of the the residual or maintained stigma.
00:13:00 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A lot of it is you know, frustration or these you know, I hear these stories of of of suicide.
00:13:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Around you know veterans, et cetera, that they were trying to or working toward getting the help.
00:13:14 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
But it was quote too late and that’s you know, there, there’s my point like there is, you’re waiting, we are, we are I’m not saying you know one particular person.
00:13:24 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’m saying as a society we’re waiting too long.
00:13:28 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Be proactive or be you know, being corrective or trying to be correct corrective and then when you’re in crisis.
00:13:34 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Oh my gosh, now it’s like wait now it’s super frustrating to wait three months for an appointment that you know I mean.
00:13:40 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s my hope for this program is that it can.
00:13:46 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Inspire like this adventure that I’ve discovered is is all of this is mental health hygiene.
00:13:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Like you said.
00:13:55 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I mean, it’s it’s fascinating.
00:13:57 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s just that we don’t take the time to do it.
00:13:59 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And I know it’s easy to say on like the other side of you know my healing or I mean it’s a process.
00:14:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’m still managing depression.
00:14:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’m still managing PTSD like it’s not something that goes away.
00:14:11 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s just having those tools and peeling back layers and going before the trauma going before the depression and understanding and connecting with yourself.
00:14:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Like in such a.
00:14:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Way that that.
00:14:23 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That resilience actually becomes almost less necessary because you’re in harmony.
00:14:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know, with the world, I know it’s easy to say.
00:14:33 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
On this side of it, but I really want to inspire that with other people that.
00:14:39 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s some work that you can do on your own while you’re waiting for your first appointment, there’s you know there’s thought processes that you can interrupt and simply.
00:14:51 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Turn off your television for like you were saying, like turn it off for an hour earlier at night.
00:14:56 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I mean, there’s so many different things, little easy things that we can do to start creating that space.
00:15:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
Absolutely, systems and processes to keep ourselves accountable for our own mental health right on a micro skilling on counseling we talk a lot about scaling right goals, but we can scale personal.
00:15:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
Self-care right? And like you said and have.
00:15:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
These rules be set.
00:15:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
Up right, maybe when I get.
00:15:21 Patrick Martin LCSW
Up, you know, one of my rules is I don’t.
00:15:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
Look at my phone for.
00:15:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
45 minutes after I get up.
00:15:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
I don’t.
00:15:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
I won’t look at it.
00:15:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know I’ll have my coffee.
00:15:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
Ideally, I’ll do some stretches.
00:15:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
I’ll put my dogs who’s right behind me.
00:15:34
Ohh it’s off.
00:15:35
It’s off.
00:15:38 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I have four of them, but the patch.
00:15:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
Always he always makes his cameo in my videos.
00:15:43 Patrick Martin LCSW
So he’s my first obligation when I wake up before my.
00:15:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
Kids get up.
00:15:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
Do some stretches but the dog.
00:15:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
Have some moments of gratitude, right?
00:15:52
Yes, yeah.
00:15:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
Spare, you know, go out.
00:15:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, maybe get a little fresh air and this can all happen within 10 minutes.
00:15:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know it doesn’t take.
00:16:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yes, I see you.
00:16:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
It doesn’t take much work.
00:16:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
It just takes forethought and rules parameters, right?
00:16:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so I want to click on my phone and turn off do not disturb until I’ve generally done that.
00:16:13
You have that.
00:16:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
And like you said with other distractions, the TV right the phone because whatever it is, you know.
00:16:21 Patrick Martin LCSW
Like we had said, there’s always something demanding our attention.
00:16:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so we have to be on the offense, right?
00:16:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s saying, the best best defense is a good offense, right?
00:16:30 Patrick Martin LCSW
When it comes to our mental health and I know you have some very specific strategies right around sobriety and.
00:16:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
How we can protect against?
00:16:42 Patrick Martin LCSW
Addiction and further traumatization and and you know.
00:16:47 Patrick Martin LCSW
Stopping the hemorrhage of of that spiral you were talking about and and problems and.
00:16:49
Yeah, I.
00:16:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
Stressors or how we mitigate the stress and how then how we get to a place of maintaining our health and so.
00:17:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
But yeah, it just it doesn’t.
00:17:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
It doesn’t have to be all or.
00:17:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Nothing right.
00:17:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
Life is a spectrum for spectrum.
00:17:05
Oh my gosh.
00:17:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Exactly and I I love the sober, curious movement.
00:17:10 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s huge right now.
00:17:12 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s gaining momentum every year.
00:17:14 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s over 40 something million people estimated you know involved in that that are questioning their.
00:17:19 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Relationship with alcohol.
00:17:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Well, that’s lovely, and that’s a great place to start.
00:17:24 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s a toxic.
00:17:25 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
State that’s
00:17:26 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So accessible and so socially acceptable, and I.
00:17:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Do not believe.
00:17:30 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
In 100% abstinence, I know that there are people that need to do that, and that that’s true. That’s on the one.
00:17:38 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
End of the spectrum there’s.
00:17:40 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
The spectrum is habitual.
00:17:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Escapism, like you’re saying the hemorrhaging to purposeful conscious escape.
00:17:47 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We all escape.
00:17:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s a natural part of.
00:17:50 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s nothing wrong with that, but to be able to to manage it.
00:17:53 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Be aware of it.
00:17:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Balance it, control it, manage it, then you’re managing your energy as well and we’re all running around.
00:18:00 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Sick and tired and wondering why yet?
00:18:03 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We’re binge eating, binge drinking.
00:18:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Binge watching, binge shopping.
00:18:06 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Doing all of these things.
00:18:08 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Trying to make.
00:18:08 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Ourselves feel better.
00:18:10 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And reach this ideal mental state that none of those things in excess and abuse are going to.
00:18:15 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Get us there.
00:18:16 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So you know, for me, you know when I say binging sober, the sober is a lack of intoxication from any of these unhealthy, mind numbing things that you may lean on.
00:18:26 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And it’s different for all of us.
00:18:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And those things impact all of us differently.
00:18:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So it’s.
00:18:30 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A very you know individualized idea.
00:18:33 Patrick Martin LCSW
Could you say more about that?
00:18:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
Because I think that maybe that power term there is intoxication.
00:18:38 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right?
00:18:38 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s kind of the qualifier, right?
00:18:40 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah, yeah, we don’t see a lot of these things as.
00:18:44 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And just having the awareness around what that means for you.
00:18:48 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know there’s a point, just that awareness.
00:18:50 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Like hey, maybe I should question my relationship.
00:18:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
For me this is where #binging sober was born. I had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol starting in my teens in the Navy and in society in general, you know.
00:19:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Like I was saying, very socially acceptable.
00:19:06 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s toxic.
00:19:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s not ever going to be not toxic like there’s it is a toxic escapism.
00:19:14 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And so.
00:19:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Once I started to manage that with support and question it and look at it, then it became and I was a.
00:19:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I was a binge drinker.
00:19:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I mean, I could go.
00:19:30 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I would go weeks months.
00:19:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
But then I would binge drink and feel terrible and which is, you know.
00:19:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Also not healthy.
00:19:37 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And so once I started to manage that and.
00:19:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There were things underneath of it.
00:19:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Then I was discovering that I was just overusing other things that were making me feel intoxicated.
00:19:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And when I say intoxicated, you know, I think that there’s something that we are all searching for when.
00:19:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We lean on these things.
00:19:56 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
This this like I said, ideal mental state this mental state, whether or not we’re conscious of this or not, but you’re obviously reaching to feel better.
00:20:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know, in some way in that moment and so.
00:20:09 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That would be sobriety. In the case of #binging sober, is that lack of intoxication? In my experience in having practiced this for years and years, like I said, formally developing it over.
00:20:23 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
The past two three years.
00:20:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It takes.
00:20:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A sober binge is 24.
00:20:30 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Hours that’s it.
00:20:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
But it’s a.
00:20:33 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s a purposeful conscious 24 hours where you’re tracking one thing or multiple things and you’re connecting with yourself taking that time and that space.
00:20:44 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So it’s not just about doing.
00:20:45 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It, but hey, how am I?
00:20:46 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Feeling not doing.
00:20:47 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
This or what can I do?
00:20:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Who that would reverse the impact if I do decide to do this, and so you’re really learning or getting a keen awareness of how these things are truly impacting you as an individual.
00:21:00 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Not, you know, you know that.
00:21:02 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
What impacts you in one way could impact me in a totally.
00:21:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Different way.
00:21:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s and side effects, and all of those.
00:21:09 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Things that you read about.
00:21:10 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
To learn about those, you know, take them with a grain of salt because they could impact you in a totally different.
00:21:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Worse way, you know.
00:21:19 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So really, learning yourself.
00:21:21 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
In a manner that.
00:21:24 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That helps you make more informed.
00:21:26 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Decisions you know.
00:21:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
I love that absolutely because one thing we know is what gets measured gets improved right.
00:21:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
Small tweaks can lead to giant peaks in terms of insight and really become the levers that we know to pull.
00:21:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
And we talk about this a lot in mental health, not just in sobriety and motivational interviewing.
00:21:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
And that kind of thing.
00:21:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
But when it comes to coping skills.
00:21:48 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right, if somebody wants to feel less anxious, well, a lot of the times that comes by taking an inventory.
00:21:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
Of their thoughts of their routine, of whether time is going, I know.
00:21:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
It sounds like yeah, it’s not exactly.
00:22:00 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I don’t know.
00:22:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
Exactly Einstein stuff, right?
00:22:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
But like you said, it’s the.
00:22:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
Putting our intention and our intention, attention together and making a concerted effort to do the work to slow down long enough.
00:22:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
Enough to look at what’s happening?
00:22:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, to see what points of intervention there potentially are for future implications and and in terms of change, right?
00:22:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
And what needs are being served and men, how we can better meet those needs without.
00:22:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
Unnecessary suffering.
00:22:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah, exactly right, and I think where a lot of us are so used to the unnecessary suffering that you think it’s like just a part of life when really it could be these things that are.
00:22:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Available to us that we’re leaning on that, in my experience are causing a lot of that unnecessary suffering.
00:22:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
When we talk about radical acceptance, yeah, hence.
00:23:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We all have more control than we give.
00:23:02 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Ourselves credit for yeah.
00:23:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
Absolutely, and we talk about radical acceptance.
00:23:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
We’re not talking about accepting unnecessary suffering.
00:23:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
We’re talking about accepting the things.
00:23:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
Cannot be changed, right?
00:23:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
There’s a big difference.
00:23:15 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah, yeah, technology.
00:23:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
Avoidable suffering implies that we have some control in the outcome.
00:23:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yes, yes we were talking about attribution control where you put your you know where you put your control, who you blame for, what you know.
00:23:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And so there are so many things that we can control that again.
00:23:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Are illuminated when we take the time to inventory OK, what do I actually not have control over you and I both know that’s where we spend a lot of time and worry and anxiety and creating a lot of stress for ourselves.
00:23:44 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Distress for ourselves when we’re thinking about these things, we have absolutely no control over, and so a lot of this is just putting your awareness around, hey.
00:23:53 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I do have control over these things now.
00:23:55 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Again, addiction being you know.
00:23:59 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A little bit different obviously, but I do have control over these things and if I use all of my energy, stop, stop draining my energy on these things that I can’t control, I can use all of 100% of my energy.
00:24:13 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Whatever that whatever that level is in a given day doesn’t matter, because it will grow over time.
00:24:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And you just start using that energy.
00:24:22 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
To focus on the things that you can control.
00:24:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
Absolutely, we all have so much tank in our game.
00:24:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, gas in our tank.
00:24:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so many hours in a day, right to allocate.
00:24:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
And it’s easy to give away our power to things that don’t.
00:24:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
Return that investment right?
00:24:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah, exactly.
00:24:41 Patrick Martin LCSW
They are not a good investment to begin with and then we’re tapped out.
00:24:46 Patrick Martin LCSW
We don’t have what we need to allocate toward.
00:24:49 Patrick Martin LCSW
The other things right?
00:24:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
And that’s how things Snowball.
00:24:52 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right in terms of stress.
00:24:56 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s where the.
00:24:56 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Point system comes in.
00:24:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
Tell me about that.
00:24:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
I was going to ask you.
00:24:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
Now, let’s go and dive into the tactics.
00:25:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
Now that we’ve talked a lot around the theory right of mental health, right?
00:25:05 Patrick Martin LCSW
Let’s get into the brass tacks of what? Binging sober is because you’ve spent, you know, quite. I’m sure a lot of energy in developing this into a fine-tuned program and.
00:25:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
For its efficacy right?
00:25:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
And so let’s talk about that it it involves a point system you’ve touched on that, so you can tell.
00:25:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
Us more about that.
00:25:25 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Well, you know it’s everything we’ve been talking about.
00:25:28 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You’re really building a lot of awareness, control, and balance of these things by taking personal inventory by being comfortable with looking at what you know, what kind of things are queuing you internally externally to use these things so.
00:25:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
In the end, you come out with a blueprint of OK.
00:25:46 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Well, this thing has this escape or escapism, and I I say both.
00:25:52 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’m sorry my dog is crying.
00:25:53 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
What do you say?
00:25:55 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I say both because an escape ISM is the unhealthy version.
00:26:00 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There are natural escapes and I can.
00:26:03 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Argue there are.
00:26:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Way more natural escapes.
00:26:06 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And we were talking about earlier gratitude.
00:26:08 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Oh my gosh, it’s so simple, but it it is.
00:26:10 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
It’s a meditation, yoga, gardening, anything that you find flow in as an individual.
00:26:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There are so.
00:26:19 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Many things, creative expression, movement, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, that that give us the energy back, give us more fuel.
00:26:28 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And so the point system is about really developing awareness around how these escape isms impact me.
00:26:35 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There are toxic escapism.
00:26:38 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There are potentially toxic.
00:26:40 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Like escape isms where?
00:26:44 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
These are the things like social media, television, shopping.
00:26:48 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
All of these things that aren’t inherently toxic that involve chemicals like food, preservatives, alcohol, illicit drugs.
00:26:56 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know those are separate and in a way, and so these potentially toxic escapism. SMS’s are the ones that we have so much.
00:27:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Access to, especially after the pandemic, they become there are 808 hundred and 17,000 shows streaming on television right now.
00:27:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
Wow, mind-blowing.
00:27:13 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And that number.
00:27:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
And here I can’t decide what to watch, you know?
00:27:21 Patrick Martin LCSW
Too many.
00:27:21 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Choices I know, I know and.
00:27:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or being a kid is like what’s on Saturday morning cartoons.
00:27:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s what you get.
00:27:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
You better yeah.
00:27:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’m glad that you said that because.
00:27:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I talked to.
00:27:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A lot of clients and a lot.
00:27:33 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of people who.
00:27:35 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know want.
00:27:35 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
To talk about their teenagers and how their.
00:27:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Abusing these escapism SMS and how it’s impacting them and their you know ability to be responsible and driven and motivated.
00:27:51 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And a lot of those people you know need that aha moment that they’re not really paying attention to what they’re doing, so a lot.
00:27:58 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of times we can.
00:27:58 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Turn it around as this comment of.
00:28:01
You know when I.
00:28:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Was when I.
00:28:02 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Was little we used to play outside.
00:28:05 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Until dark and then my mom would call me in and.
00:28:08 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I say, OK, when’s the last time?
00:28:10 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You did that because.
00:28:12 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s exact all.
00:28:13 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of us are doing it and you’re modeling that behavior for.
00:28:16 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Your child anyway?
00:28:17 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
The point system, which is actually going to be.
00:28:19 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Released on February.
00:28:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
First I’ve started releasing #binging sober in a community.
00:28:26 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
In a community, a private community.
00:28:27 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So that’s how.
00:28:28 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know, we’re really.
00:28:31 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Really fine tuning it because this is a process I’ve used myself.
00:28:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
For a very.
00:28:37 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Long time, so I’m working closely with the community to tweak the actual, you know lessons and exercises and those types of things and then the point system is released on February 1st to my website.
00:28:51 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Changingsober.com and.
00:28:55 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
In the end, you come out with, like I said, a tailored blueprint for hey, if you want to use this specific escapism, at least you’ll know that these are things that you can.
00:29:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There are other things that you can do to reverse the impact that it has.
00:29:12
On you.
00:29:12 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
So it’s really developing a recipe.
00:29:15 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
For living well for having the energy that you truly want when you wake up.
00:29:20 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
In the morning.
00:29:21 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Because what a lot of people don’t realize that I found is that the energy that.
00:29:25 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You have when.
00:29:25 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You wake up was created days the days.
00:29:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And weeks and.
00:29:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Months and years before and.
00:29:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
Isn’t that the truth?
00:29:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah, and it’s something that we can.
00:29:34 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Control for ourselves. It’s just.
00:29:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A matter of taking ownership of.
00:29:38 Patrick Martin LCSW
That yeah, I love that and we talk about those protective factors, you know, mental health talked a lot about OK, and it’s not always about focusing on what you want to stop, right?
00:29:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
What you want to do less of?
00:29:52 Patrick Martin LCSW
Turn your attention to what you want to do.
00:29:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
More of the type of person lifestyle you want, the type, the way you want to feel and focus on the things that speak to that and then over time, at least in my experience.
00:30:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
You will desire the other things less as it becomes incongruent as it becomes oppositional.
00:30:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
For the the change you’re experiencing.
00:30:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
The positive change.
00:30:13 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That was the process of #binging sober for me, so I started it in the in the Navy because I was on a ship so I would go out to sea for three days, seven days, weeks, months, whatever.
00:30:24 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Now, I know that that’s very dramatic and that all of us can’t just hop on a boat and get out, you know, go out to sea.
00:30:29 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
But mind you, I was locked inside.
00:30:30 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of the ship a lot.
00:30:31 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Because we were, you know.
00:30:33 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We were just we were in the combat zone so I’m.
00:30:36 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Talked, you know in.
00:30:37 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A ship it wasn’t like I.
00:30:38 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Was able to experience the peace and.
00:30:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Serenity of the ocean, which I was sometimes, but I notice when I got home when I was on land that a I.
00:30:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Would go back to.
00:30:51 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Abusing alcohol, etcetera.
00:30:53 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Thankfully not while I was traveling, but when I was home.
00:30:59 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I started noticing this drastic.
00:31:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I mean it sounds so.
00:31:03 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Silly, but I was in.
00:31:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
My 20s, so let’s excuse young colony who?
00:31:07
Who was like Oh my gosh.
00:31:09 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s a huge difference in my quality of life.
00:31:11 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
My clarity of.
00:31:12 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Thinking like what is happening I didn’t have.
00:31:14 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Access to really.
00:31:15 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Any of those things that I was using to, you know, escape?
00:31:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Whatever and so following my time in the Navy when I got out, I noticed that.
00:31:25 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That I was missing time at sea for that reason, so I started pretending I started.
00:31:31 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Hey, I’m just gonna pretend like I’m out to see and do what is now a sober binge for me.
00:31:37 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And so over time, what happens and?
00:31:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
This is.
00:31:42 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
100% my faith in the.
00:31:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Program is exactly what you.
00:31:45 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Just said.
00:31:46 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Over time now I want to escape to the clarity and to the you know the.
00:31:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Calm and to the peace that comes from a lack of intoxication.
00:31:59 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Not that comes from the intoxication, which is what I was doing prior to that and where habitual escapism puts all of us in that intoxicated state.
00:32:09 Patrick Martin LCSW
I love it so it’s honoring.
00:32:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
The benefits of sobriety.
00:32:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
How you feel, and it’s also kind of that as if, right mentality, right?
00:32:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
If you want to be something, or if you want to acknowledge something, you know getting that mental state of what that’s like, right become that person.
00:32:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, I love that and little hacks.
00:32:33 Patrick Martin LCSW
Life hacks like that I believe are very important, right?
00:32:36 Patrick Martin LCSW
Because we have to sometimes trick our mind into not acknowledging the.
00:32:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A lot of it’s trickery at first.
00:32:42 Patrick Martin LCSW
The buffet of opportunities before us and kind of getting a little narrow minded in some sense on the things that we actually.
00:32:48 Patrick Martin LCSW
Want are the things that are are in our best interest?
00:32:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, yeah.
00:32:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, I like that.
00:32:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
So bringing so we’re into the community is this when you say private community, is this like a pilot program or is it like a Facebook private Facebook group?
00:33:04 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
We’re on a Facebook private group right now.
00:33:07 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
People can join by going to binging, binging, sober dot.
00:33:10 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Com Yeah and following along on Instagram.
00:33:15 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s important, that’s where we’re you know. Dropping the hashtag and creating the movement on Instagram and Facebook. Or we’ll be on TikTok in a.
00:33:22 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Couple of weeks when the point system launches.
00:33:24 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
In February.
00:33:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
Wonderful so I will of course drop in the show notes the website where people can sign up and the Instagram and that way everyone can get on board with the binge sober movement, right?
00:33:38 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Thank you, thank you.
00:33:39
I love it.
00:33:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, and I really appreciate it.
00:33:41 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I’m going to help around.
00:33:42 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And get people to to, you know, be excited.
00:33:46 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
To go talk to a therapist.
00:33:48 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yes, yes, and so I’m excited to learn more about your program and what you’re doing.
00:33:54 Patrick Martin LCSW
And I would love to have you back on down the road if you have any interest in updating us on the progress and.
00:33:57 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That would.
00:33:57
Be awesome.
00:34:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
Excellent, excellent any other words of wisdom any other.
00:34:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
There Nuggets that you feel would be helpful to anyone right now struggling with sobriety.
00:34:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
Maybe they’ve tried the traditional 12 step model and that hasn’t been effective.
00:34:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
Maybe they’re not comfortable.
00:34:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know.
00:34:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
Sharing in a group for whatever reason, like people have their reasons why they don’t.
00:34:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
They don’t jump right into a 12 step program.
00:34:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
What what words of wisdom would you?
00:34:27 Patrick Martin LCSW
Have for somebody in that position.
00:34:28 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Well, first of all, just the acknowledgement is power right there that you know you’re questioning your relationship with something is very, very powerful, so you know I know a lot of us tend to think of just these really formal programs, but there.
00:34:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Are so many.
00:34:45 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Supported systems out there.
00:34:48 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
On Instagram on Facebook, you know, take them with a grain of salt, but.
00:34:53 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
If something is going to work for you, and there’s so many countless methods, then that’s what matters, and so you know.
00:35:01 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
All of these things.
00:35:03 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Dare I say, whether they’re evidence based or not?
00:35:06 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
If we can find the support and the inspiration to dip our toe in.
00:35:12 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And then.
00:35:13 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Try a sober binge for 24 hours. Reflect on how that made you feel and just start. You know, peeling back the layers of the reasons why you are using that thing or abusing that thing. I’d say that is a fantastic place to start, but of course I’m going to plug.
00:35:33 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know professional mental.
00:35:34 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Health and to be proactive and preventative about it so when you have that acknowledgment, like oh, I think this might be a challenge for me.
00:35:43 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s when.
00:35:45 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You do the.
00:35:45 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Search, that’s when you start seeking the the professional support as well.
00:35:52 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know there are programs that you can do in the meantime.
00:35:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
#binging sober, being one of them. But beyond that, please, if you are feeling like you said like this is an actual actually impacting your ability to be a responsible, you know human, then that’s definitely the signal to find more support and it’s out there.
00:36:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
I appreciate that absolutely support the spectrum right.
00:36:17 Patrick Martin LCSW
Recovery the spectrum resources.
00:36:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
I think knowing being real to yourself about what what stage you’re in, what you’re willing to be open to, and what resources are available.
00:36:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
Absolutely, and in your region like I’m in the LA area.
00:36:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know, there’s hotline.
00:36:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
You can call any day of the week sash right where they will link you right up to an inpatient or outpatient program.
00:36:40 Patrick Martin LCSW
If you’re not ready for something like that, you can get on board with a alcohol and drug counselor right through mental health, or.
00:36:45 Patrick Martin LCSW
Wherever and it’s not, there’s the expectation isn’t that you, you white knuckle it and you’re you.
00:36:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
Have to stay right.
00:36:50
Right, right, yeah?
00:36:52 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I think that I think that’s.
00:36:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
A pretty big misconception that stops a.
00:36:56 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Lot of people from going.
00:36:58 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There yeah, is that something?
00:36:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
And that’s the old medical model is that we can’t treat you for mental health until you’re sober.
00:37:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s not the way it is.
00:37:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s harm reduction now.
00:37:06
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s harm reduction and it’s about acceptance and meeting people where they are and their recovery.
00:37:13 Patrick Martin LCSW
And you know, as I when I work with clients, I try and express, you know, it’s not about.
00:37:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
The relapse and getting back on the wagon you fell off and you’re starting back from scratch.
00:37:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s what did you learn?
00:37:24 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:25 Patrick Martin LCSW
From that last relapse, like you were saying.
00:37:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
Your period of sobriety.
00:37:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
And then.
00:37:32 Patrick Martin LCSW
We’re as one as a reminder for yourself that when you are tempted to use.
00:37:39 Patrick Martin LCSW
Why right?
00:37:41 Patrick Martin LCSW
What is it costing you or what shifted for you?
00:37:43 Patrick Martin LCSW
What triggered you right where you running from per say, right?
00:37:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yes, the documentation.
00:37:49 Patrick Martin LCSW
Or do you find it dumb, yeah?
00:37:51 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Of course, obviously you need to be aware first, but then the documentation is #2, yeah.
00:37:56 Patrick Martin LCSW
Which is why I think 12 step is so popular with, you know, because they it’s forced part of the program, right?
00:38:03 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That’s true.
00:38:03 Patrick Martin LCSW
Nobody likes the interpersonal inventory, right?
00:38:08 Patrick Martin LCSW
Data data, but data data data.
00:38:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
Data and data is not always fine, which.
00:38:12 Patrick Martin LCSW
Is why nobody likes to do a budget.
00:38:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
We’re taxes, it’s tax season and we procrastinate myself.
00:38:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
Include on that stuff because it’s not fun to document.
00:38:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
I don’t tell my clients to journal unless I love it because I don’t like to journal, feels like work, but I am.
00:38:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
I am a fan of tracking so in some.
00:38:34 Patrick Martin LCSW
Form or fashion be that lists be that bullet points be on your calendar, be that through an app emoji, yes.
00:38:38 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
That have used emojis before there, there’s so many.
00:38:42 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Different ways, whatever, whatever you feel, could work.
00:38:45 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You, that’s what could.
00:38:47 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Work for you.
00:38:48 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You know it doesn’t have.
00:38:49 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
To fit this.
00:38:49
Little mold, yeah.
00:38:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
Digital could be like a little just a.
00:38:51 Patrick Martin LCSW
Little notebook like this?
00:38:52 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Yeah it could be.
00:38:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
You know could be a little index card to keep in the front to remind you of what’s important every day, right?
00:38:54 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
At least recorder on your phone.
00:38:55 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
There’s so many different options.
00:39:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
There’s to do is whatever.
00:39:04 Patrick Martin LCSW
Just something simple, some doesn’t have to be complicated, whether it be sobriety and mental health or development, fitness, diet.
00:39:11 Patrick Martin LCSW
It’s all the same, really.
00:39:16 Patrick Martin LCSW
Change takes work.
00:39:18 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
And times.
00:39:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
Change it hard, hard, hard stuff because it requires us to.
00:39:24 Patrick Martin LCSW
Dig deep.
00:39:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
Be compassionate with ourselves, which is hard.
00:39:29 Patrick Martin LCSW
I feel like it’s harder to forgive ourselves and be compassionate than it is with other people even.
00:39:36 Patrick Martin LCSW
When we don’t hit our our goals and I think it’s like goals scare people because on the opposite side of that, if they don’t meet their goals which none of us do if they’re, our goals are probably where they should be, which is outside of our comfort zone.
00:39:49
Yeah true.
00:39:50 Patrick Martin LCSW
There’s going to be disappointment.
00:39:52 Patrick Martin LCSW
There’s going to be the potential for self shame because.
00:39:58 Patrick Martin LCSW
We are.
00:39:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
Our brains are programmed to focus on.
00:40:02 Patrick Martin LCSW
The problem is the negative, the threat, the fear, the consequence, right?
00:40:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
We’re conditioned that way through object relations, and so it’s very easy to get down on ourselves, and so I think a big part of change is focusing on how we think about change.
00:40:18 Patrick Martin LCSW
How we think about goals right goals are meant to are not meant to be achieved.
00:40:22 Patrick Martin LCSW
They’re meant to set a pace and a direction, and.
00:40:26 Patrick Martin LCSW
Something to measure?
00:40:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yeah, with a Y on the other side, yeah.
00:40:31 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Those routines that you’ve got.
00:40:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
To look.
00:40:32 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Out for yes yeah.
00:40:35 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
The process the process involved in the.
00:40:37 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Goals, Yep.
00:40:38 Patrick Martin LCSW
That’s right, and so I’m sure you talk all about that in your program.
00:40:41 Patrick Martin LCSW
And more than happy to check it out and hope you know anyone listening or watching you know to this episode, please do head over there and sign up so you can learn more about the binge sober movement and as well as.
00:40:53 Patrick Martin LCSW
On Instagram so.
00:40:55 Patrick Martin LCSW
Link up to all of that.
00:40:57 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Well, thank you.
00:40:58 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Thank you for having me.
00:40:59 Patrick Martin LCSW
Yes, my pleasure.
00:41:00 Patrick Martin LCSW
Thank you for being on.
00:41:01 Patrick Martin LCSW
I love the work you’re doing and would love to circle back and chat some more and how it’s going.
00:41:07 Patrick Martin LCSW
All right, and with that I wish you a fantastic week and.
00:41:11 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
You too.
00:41:14 Patrick Martin LCSW
Happy New year.
00:41:15 Patrick Martin LCSW
Here we are.
00:41:16 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
I know we’re halfway through.
00:41:19 Patrick Martin LCSW
Right, I know, I know.
00:41:20 Patrick Martin LCSW
How about?
00:41:22 Colleen Ryan-Hensley
Thank you so much.
00:41:23 Patrick Martin LCSW
All right, thank you so much Colleen appreciate.
00:41:24
Nice to.
00:41:24
Meet you.
00:41:25
You bye bye.
00:41:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
Well, you have it.
00:41:28 Patrick Martin LCSW
Another tool to help you thrive until next time make good things.
00:41:31 Patrick Martin LCSW
Happen bye bye.
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