Are you struggling to stay healthy and optimize your physical and mental health? In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Parker Hays, M.D., to discuss the importance of sustainable wellness.
Dr. Hays is a specialist in healthy living and will share with you everything you need to know about staying healthy and optimizing your physical and mental health.
Dr. Hays will discuss the importance of a balanced diet, regular exercise, and stress management. He’ll also discuss the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle overall and how to create a sustainable wellness plan that will help you maintain your health and well-being over the long term. Stay tuned for this enlightening interview!
*Some of the links found here are affiliate links: As an Associate I earn from qualifying purchases by way of commission at no additional cost to you. See full disclaimer here:
Table of Contents
BIO: Dr. Parker Hays, M.D.
Dr. Parker Hays is a seasoned board-certified emergency physician, medical director, and professor with a passion for men’s health and wellness. He is the co-founder of the Lasting Impact Wellness Group, a company dedicated to providing health and well-being coaching and consulting services. With a background in emergency medicine, Dr. Hays has a unique perspective on the importance of maintaining physical and mental health, particularly for men over 50. His expertise extends to executive wellness, longevity, and mental health.
https://lastingimpactwellness.com/
Learn More About Dr. Parker Hays and Sustainable Wellness:
CONTACT AND SOCIALS:
- Website: https://lastingimpactwellness.com/
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If you liked this episode, be sure to check out my full playlist of interviews here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnPL9gahfhWatKmy2YSyU0jt20h_jrj3H
Listen To The Interview
*Some of the links are affiliate links: As an Associate I earn from qualifying purchases by way of commission at no additional cost to you.
Transcript:
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Hello, Dr. Hayes, and thank you so much for making time to be on the Mental Health Toolbox today, the podcast.
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I really appreciate your time for anyone listening or watching.
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And on the YouTube channel, Dr. Parker Hayes is joining us today from North Carolina, where he has his group practice, Lasting Impact Wellness Group.
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Is that correct?
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That’s right.
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And thank you so much for having me.
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My pleasure.
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You’re a wealth of information.
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I appreciate you taking time to be on today to share all of your wisdom around health as a physician, having been in the trenches for so long.
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And then, of course, starting your mission to educate the masses on how we can integrate health and wellness and mental health and do it in a sustainable way.
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So thank you for that.
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Thank you again.
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Excellent.
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So Dr. Hayes, can you tell us a little bit about what brought you into this space?
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A little bit about your background?
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I know you’re a physician for quite some time, as well as a medical director, and an educator, professor, and so just a wealth of information.
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How did you get into this field of health and wellness?
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Well, thank you for asking.
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Sometimes one, even if they inhabit their own story, doesn’t know the answer to all those things that are made to articulate them.
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I guess looking back at the beginning, and I promise it won’t be a tremendously long saw, I hope, but I was extremely lucky growing up in a university setting where I had highly educated and invested parents and I had a wealth of exposures, athletic, musical, artistic, intellectual, geographic.
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And everything was fine.
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fairly swimmingly going until my dad got very ill and my mother and father both had chronic illnesses.
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And although they were still very invested, I found myself in my teen years needing to fulfill certain roles for the family that I hadn’t expected.
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And frankly, I wasn’t that happy about at the time being a teenager who wanted the planets to orbit around me.
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I found that if I needed to build something or fix something in the house, then it was on me.
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And there were also a lot of acute emotional and mental health crises to manage at that time as well.
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And albeit clumsily, I guess I got very used to being able to handle things
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whatever came next for at least my then age and abilities.
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And I’m sure that that ultimately led me to medicine and specifically later emergency medicine.
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I like to fix stuff acutely and get after it.
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And over the next 30 years or so, now 32 years in, I’ve cared for and learned from most of all the breadth of humanity.
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The ER is the great equalizer.
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It is the place where everyone goes eventually almost.
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And so with all that right in front of me during the last decades, I began to ask myself a set of different questions.
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I would look at patients and although taking care of the acute necessity, I would ask,
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why did you get shot?
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Why are you overdosed?
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Why do you have COPD?
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What set of choices, conditions, or lack of opportunity conspired to make you unhealthy at this time?
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And
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A couple of years ago, things changed for me after asking these questions long enough.
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My wife is also an emergency physician and a leader.
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She was chair of our department at that time and throughout the pandemic, but she’s also a yoga instructor, a mindfulness expert, and a coach.
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And after years as a professor,
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I’d like to think mentor and educator, we decided to combine our forces and we decided to look more at the upstream causes for the things that we see every day in the emergency department.
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So we have formed this company to address more healthcare instead of sick care.
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I’ve spent a long time able to take care of anything that comes off the ambulance and
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And it circular rises my career a bit to dedicate myself to preventing people from having to ever get on the ambulance in the first place.
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And I’m happy to say that we take care of all kinds of people, but we want to make people more effective and durable and resilient before ultimately they face acute needs that experts can take care of under the right settings.
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Wow, very well said.
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So that’s a fantastic mission that you’re on.
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It’s so needed.
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It goes back to that idea that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?
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That if we can educate the public.
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I know that’s a passion of mine is learning, whatever you want to call them.
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I know biohacks is the hot term right now, but basically we’re just talking about
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self-care and knowing what levers to pull, what to focus on.
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I think that’s the biggest challenge for anyone when they’re looking at their personal health is figuring out what really makes a difference because I’m a therapist.
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When I’m talking to clients, we talk a lot about the connection between mental health and physical health.
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Sometimes it’s a little muddy knowing which one is aggravating the other.
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and oftentimes when you go to the doctor when i go to the doctor you know we’re told to diet exercise right have a healthy lifestyle but what that actually means i find in the counseling office is that most people especially even if they have chronic health conditions and they have specialists oftentimes don’t necessarily know what they’re quote supposed to do to manage their condition
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right?
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Be that diabetes, or if there’s a family history of cardiac issues, whatever it is, right?
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There’s sometimes the not knowing is the problem.
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And so people play whack-a-mole, I’ve seen, you know, trying to, trying to just kind of go on fad diets, or maybe I’ll just drink more water.
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But there’s some, you know, the bigger problems right under their nose, you know, and this is just what I see in my own life.
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This is what I see in working with
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clients sometimes and I’m not a doctor I’m not a dietitian you know I have no no credentials in that realm and just having a you know an extended discussion with someone you can uncover some of these these blind spots and so I know the work you’re doing is
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crucial, right, on a societal level.
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And you’re talking about even in the ER, you know, the questions you would ask the sociologist, and it’s kind of like figuring out, you know, what are the root causes of some of these repetitive issues that you’re seeing right in the trenches.
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Well, thank you.
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As a mental health professional yourself, I would certainly echo any words of appreciation.
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You mentioned that the mind-body connection sometimes is muddy.
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That may be so, but it is never severed.
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It is always present.
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And even the most obviously physical manifestations of disease, say a cut on your arm,
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carries with it a host of mental implications concern about one’s immediate future their work history their needs to take care of at home what will the and sometimes it boils down to what will the scar look like and how long is this going to take but but but the mind-body connection it may be an extreme example is certainly always present and without
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adequate attention being paid to the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of physical disease, then one can only hope to partially set people towards healing.
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And so what have you found to be some of the common factors or maybe the repetitive things you were seeing in the ER that are maybe the low hanging fruit, the ankle biters that people could with the right direction, hence like your coaching or given some direction, what would be the easiest things to maybe address for the masses, do you think?
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Sure.
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Well,
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Underscoring one of the previous points you just alluded to, and I tried to make the mental aspects of it all.
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It starts with self-awareness.
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So knowing everything does.
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So knowing where your low hanging fruit is, is the first step.
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If you, if the patient is a chain smoking addict,
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person with an alcohol problem, then the place to start is not really trying to bolster the specifics of their exercise plan, and so forth.
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But in many cases, that low hanging fruit starts with stopping doing damage.
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But first of all, having the self awareness to realize where the damage is occurring.
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Maybe the damage is more subtle in a lack of
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cultivation and attention being paid to one’s relationships.
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Maybe the damage being done is injurious exercise.
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Maybe it’s fastidious adherence to diet that might cause a nutritional imbalance and so forth.
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But it starts with self-awareness, finding out where to begin.
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After that, common threads often occur, and it becomes a broken record for those of us old enough to understand what that term even means anymore.
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But it begins with how you move your body, what you put into your body, and what you put into your mind.
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And the latter also would encompass those we surround ourselves with and the relationships that arise from it.
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Sure.
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And I imagine what we put into our mind can affect what we do with our body, what we put into our body, our mental states, how we think about ourselves, right?
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How we think about our goals, how we relate to others, all of these things, right?
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Are intertwined.
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You know, life sounds complicated thing.
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Yeah.
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Very much.
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I interviewed a PhD researcher on my podcast recently.
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I asked her, what were some of the things you learned studying health behaviors?
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For example, she highlighted the fact that we studied groups of women to see what was the barrier to them sticking with an exercise program.
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And in this particular cohort, they found that
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they were really repelled by going to the gyms of the time loaded with mirrors and a bunch of jacked guys with gallons of whatever tonic and made them self-conscious and turned them off from exercising.
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So they were there.
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They were that close to engaging in positive, healthy behaviors, but had barriers to completion.
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Everybody’s got their own.
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And adequate study is great, but it begins with self-awareness and honest questions of oneself.
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Absolutely.
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Things we know from like motivational interviewing, right?
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People can be right on the cusp of being ready to take action, right?
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But it can be that one, that one hang up that derails them or detracts them or, you know, pop, you know, pops their inspirational balloon.
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They already get deflated, you know, whatever analogy you want to use, people can be that close.
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I’ve been that close so many times.
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And it does sometimes thinking about
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how to work around these mental obstacles right isn’t that what made curves so popular right for those of that are familiar with curves the gym for women yes i think so yeah it was the idea of a place you know without the judgment and i think other gyms have gotten in that bandwagon and planet fitness same thing you know place without judgment it’s like this whole concept is like you know no shaming you know just come and do you and i think people appreciate that
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I think it speaks to a greater point, which is if you have self-awareness, then you can find out what works for you.
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And if you can identify barriers like that, why am I turned off?
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Why do I not want to go?
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Why do I, you can know that there are so many steps to take, but it starts with taking the first step today.
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And if there’s a reason you can’t put that foot forward, that’s correctable, then that’s the low hanging fruit.
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That’s the place to start.
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Yeah.
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And so in your work with clients, given your history, your expertise of the body, of the mind, what would you say makes or what have you found to be most effective with your style of coaching that gets results in the sense that maybe where others fail?
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Well, I don’t know where others fail necessarily, but I would say the things that are most effective is if I have a firm understanding of what that client really needs.
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What are their pain points?
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They don’t
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need a lecture from me.
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They don’t even always need a lot of information, but I’m happy to provide science-based, physician-based information for them when it comes to that.
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A lot of the answers are within, and so finding
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a really clear picture of what that client needs to find a better version of themselves as they envision it.
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Sometimes that’s helped by exercises, self-examinations, assignments, coaching tools, asking somebody to actually do the work and find out what it is that they may require, but then actually paying attention to that and helping them craft a custom panel for them.
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Whether it’s going to be exercise, diet, it’s going to be core values, what’s most important to them from a career and success standpoint.
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It’s going to be different for each.
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And if I’m not willing to craft a bespoke version of it for clients, then I’m doing them a disservice.
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So finding out obviously what the goals are, but then a way to operationalize it in a way that’s unique to them, right?
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Some people have an aversion to paper.
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Some people have an aversion to computers.
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So to figure it out, yeah, it goes back to that self-awareness, right?
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Very much, very much.
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It has to be in a currency they accept.
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If you are attempting to pay somebody with more and more money when what they really want is time,
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You can only get so far.
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And if you don’t accept the currency of self-examination and coaching, then you need to switch to a currency that the client can accept and utilize.
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Yeah, very well said.
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You’ve been coaching for quite some time, right?
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You were a doctor for quite some time.
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What have you found in your observations to be some of the recurring issues when it comes to mental health that maybe lead to physical decline?
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Have you noticed anything, any trends in that department?
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Well, the first thing I’d say, irrespective of any of my work as a coach or consultant, the mental health system in this country, and I suspect many other countries, is unbelievably overtaxed, under-resourced, and at times underutilized.
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But
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My department, my emergency department, I guarantee we’ll have multiple patients right now holding in a bed, waiting to be cared for in an inpatient setting for their psychiatric illness.
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But countless others will present with physical complaints that are manifestations of mental health issues.
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problems.
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It’s just the labels blur.
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There are plenty of, the most common presenting complaint to emergency departments is pain, pain in the chest, pain in the abdomen, headache, what have you.
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Well, it’s well known that pain is a manifestation of mental health problems too.
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And that doesn’t mean the patient is
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necessarily going to be able to neatly fit into a DSM page and label, but it may be because of chronic stress.
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It may be because of a lack of support in their relationships.
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It may be because of emotional toil, worry about the conditions of their lives, how they’re going to pay their bills or how they’re going to feed and support their family or
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or whether they are fulfilling all those roles, even if numerically or conditionally they might be able to, they’re concerned that they’re not.
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And those things often manifest as physical or combination mental and physical problems.
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Kind of sounds like stress.
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Very much.
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It can definitely be a culprit, yeah.
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So stress, I mean, that’s pretty unavoidable to some extent.
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I mean, there’s stress at home.
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There’s stress at work.
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There’s self-imposed stress.
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There’s tangible stress.
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knowing that we can’t really always avoid stress, but stress is definitely a culprit for mental health and probably physical somatic symptoms.
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What do you feel or what have you found to be effective in managing stress maybe in the short term?
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Well,
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When you talk to an emergency physician about short-term management of stress, there are really two ways to look at that.
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One is how do you perform at the time under highly stressful conditions?
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And I get asked that question a lot.
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And the second, maybe we could cover subsequently, is what do you do in the short term to come off of that?
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You get out of a crazy shift or a
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some sort of high stress situation and you have to reset and be prepared for the next.
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So if I were to answer the question about performing under highly stressful conditions, the first thing I’d say is nobody’s got this all figured out.
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People act like they do.
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And I certainly didn’t create this knowledge or suddenly generate it from my intrinsic wisdom.
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I learned a lot from medical education.
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I learned a lot from people that you would think would have been my teachers.
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But where I learned the most over years and years of practice in the emergency department is from the patients and from the patient’s families themselves.
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If you think about it,
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When I go to work tomorrow at 6 a.m.
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on my shift, I already know that right now.
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I can prepare.
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I can feed myself.
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I can put on comfortable boxers and socks and have a pen that works.
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And I’m ready to go at 6 a.m.
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almost every person I see that day will have no idea that their day was going to go that way, but they still show up and demonstrate for me what the A game of stress management looks like, at least in the acute setting.
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So I would couch any answer I give and that the lessons I’m imparting today have come largely from the people I’ve tried to serve
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But to that end, there are several things I would say.
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The first is how you show up.
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If I know that I’m on duty tomorrow at 6A, then I better be ready to go then because I have had lots of time to prepare.
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And the positive nature of showing up in the department and being willing to say, I’m ready to go.
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How’s everybody today?
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Good morning.
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Even if that greeting is never heard by a patient subsequently, it will be etched upon me as body language, as positive energy in their room.
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Hopefully not…
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unreflective of the state they’re in at the time, but being prepared, showing up positive is an infectious trait, just as negative energy is also infectious.
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The second thing I would say under very stressful conditions and what’s often put forth for emergency docs, the most stressful things we do
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A pediatric code, for example, a child or a young person who’s in sudden arrest or needs something immediately done.
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I am very aware that my mind and my body are connected and I have a set of routines.
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Visualization of the first steps needed is critical.
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I need to know what’s the first thing I’m going to do.
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Well, I know already the first thing I’m going to do is keep my mouth shut and listen to what’s being said and what’s going to happen.
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But if I’m naturally very anxious about a situation’s conditions, then
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I get in the room, I make sure the things are there, but then I try to get out of the way and I sit down, ready to arise when the patient arrives, but I don’t need my body language and psychomotor agitation in the room to add to the soon to develop chaos.
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In fact, conversely, I’d like my body posture to be one of calm, because again, that’s going to affect the team members around me that I need to direct effectively.
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To that end, number three would be to engineer the place for success.
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I can’t remember everything.
23:48.575 –> 23:51.378
I can’t remember a lot of things, frankly.
23:51.878 –> 24:02.148
So I ask other people to, and I may give some delegation or assignment, especially over areas that I may not know, or I know that in the past I have forgotten.
24:03.209 –> 24:11.113
enlisting anyone else in the room to help me remember something to make sure that we have pediatric specific information available.
24:11.173 –> 24:13.994
Can you please make sure we have this gear ready to go?
24:14.014 –> 24:16.095
I don’t have to go search for that now.
24:16.215 –> 24:17.316
Somebody is on it.
24:17.396 –> 24:24.099
So to try to engineer the performance, my performance by delegation is the third thing.
24:24.959 –> 24:27.580
And then the fourth thing I would say
24:30.333 –> 24:37.198
I don’t believe, even though I think there’s some evidence that it might occur, I don’t believe in multitasking.
24:37.619 –> 24:42.182
If you try to multitask too much, then you mess a lot of stuff up.
24:42.983 –> 24:47.646
But what I really do believe in is super fast serial monotasking.
24:48.367 –> 24:51.569
You do one thing and one thing and one thing.
24:51.589 –> 24:52.690
You got to anticipate.
24:53.511 –> 24:54.531
You need to prepare.
24:54.932 –> 24:59.155
But that’s not the same as truly attempting to do more than one thing at a time.
25:00.310 –> 25:23.578
So showing up ready to go, your breathing, your posture, your visualization, steps that perhaps you’ve learned about and that might lower your acute stress response, engineering the performance for success, and then concentrating on rapid serial monotasking and moving on to the next thing.
25:23.838 –> 25:24.959
That’s kind of the first step.
25:26.052 –> 25:26.973
That one sounds tricky.
25:27.173 –> 25:30.214
And I’ve heard it said before, nobody really multitasks well at all.
25:30.335 –> 25:32.316
In fact, our efficiency goes down quite a bit.
25:32.956 –> 25:34.257
But serial monotasking
25:36.451 –> 25:58.731
I know thinking about what it must be like in an ER emergency medical setting, I mean, triaging, like I’m sure things are moving very fast, but when you break it up into small, small tasks in your head, individual tasks, I’m sure it’s much easier to maintain a focus and follow through and not let your head get clouded with all of the next things.
25:58.771 –> 26:00.673
This is the same thing we teach in mental health, right?
26:00.713 –> 26:01.554
With anxiety, it’s,
26:02.294 –> 26:04.756
you know, if you’re worrying about 10 steps ahead, you can’t be present.
26:05.756 –> 26:05.956
Right.
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And that’s what causes a lot of things like insomnia and other problems is this, this mental gymnastics, trying to, you know, check all the boxes.
26:17.063 –> 26:17.864
And what if this happens?
26:17.904 –> 26:18.764
And what if that happens?
26:18.824 –> 26:19.585
And what am I going to do here?
26:19.625 –> 26:20.805
But then you can’t really be present.
26:21.266 –> 26:21.726
And imagine
26:23.447 –> 26:33.061
Yeah, and when it’s all hands on deck in an emergency setting, you really, that’s a strong skill to have, but it can be applied anywhere in life, right?
26:33.101 –> 26:33.702
It’s what I’m hearing.
26:34.847 –> 26:35.367
Very much.
26:35.447 –> 26:41.550
It’s a multi-industry phenomenon, but it works with my family.
26:42.671 –> 26:56.017
Many times if I’m not prepared or I’m trying to do too many things, then my message with one child suffers with another or with my partner or with my siblings.
26:56.838 –> 27:03.741
I think giving people your undivided, even if it’s brief, they know it’s your undivided.
27:04.895 –> 27:10.176
And that’s a real skill to work on that we all are capable of.
27:11.536 –> 27:18.098
But sometimes really rapid serial monotasking looks a lot like monotasking to the observer.
27:18.298 –> 27:34.561
But I still stress that if you don’t complete the task at hand, then maybe you sort of half aid that one and you probably ought to make sure that it’s done correctly before you go on to others.
27:35.230 –> 27:36.111
Close your loops, right?
27:37.112 –> 27:37.393
Yes.
27:39.956 –> 27:40.216
Very.
27:40.296 –> 27:42.399
Thank you so much for all of that wisdom.
27:42.439 –> 27:48.386
And I know it’s probably just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to managing stress, but that’s huge.
27:48.406 –> 27:50.468
So preparation, showing up,
27:52.498 –> 28:20.741
ready and that preparation can look like a lot of things like that goes back i’m sure to taking care of ourselves our diet rest mentally preparing for what’s what’s in front of us things that we can wrap our head around right and then like you said that’s infectious right because when we show up as our best self we show up with that positive energy not knowing that we have to have everything figured out but that we’re capable of figuring things out as we go right well that’s right there’s going to be a longer term coping skills and
28:22.219 –> 28:31.402
in the aftermath though, of those stressful situations, you know, we’re built and designed to be stressed.
28:31.983 –> 28:33.403
It’s okay to be stressed.
28:33.483 –> 28:39.566
It’s a, it’s a survival protective mechanism.
28:39.606 –> 28:41.526
That’s why the mechanism exists.
28:41.566 –> 28:47.509
That’s why cortisol and adrenaline and those things are there to help us.
28:48.189 –> 28:48.409
But,
28:50.503 –> 29:06.570
They also the design can be foiled by not completing the stress response, not allowing it to protect you, but then achieving completion of the stress response so that you can reset for the next one.
29:07.170 –> 29:08.251
And they get it stacks.
29:08.351 –> 29:09.831
They get you get stressed.
29:09.851 –> 29:10.451
You get stressed.
29:10.471 –> 29:11.112
You get stressed.
29:11.132 –> 29:11.212
So.
29:12.886 –> 29:29.623
You know, there was some there’s a fascinating summary of this by sisters, authors, Amelia and Emily Nagoski, who wrote recently, mostly for women, but about managing stress and from their own experience and expertise.
29:29.643 –> 29:34.328
But one of their concepts is completing that stress response that women.
29:35.743 –> 29:44.148
You get stressed for a reason under a threat, but you need to then be able to come down from that.
29:46.329 –> 29:51.732
Emily talks, I believe it’s actually Amelia talks about how she used to think of stress as a cave.
29:51.812 –> 29:55.775
You go into it and you get stuck and it’s dark and it’s scary.
29:56.957 –> 30:00.898
but it helped her to then begin to think of it as a tunnel.
30:01.118 –> 30:09.480
You go into it, it’s dark and scary, but you have to keep progressing to let the stress response play out and emerge to the other side.
30:10.100 –> 30:11.780
What does that all mean in real life?
30:11.840 –> 30:20.402
Well, after shifts, after crisis patients, et cetera, there has to be a period where we can debrief and decompress.
30:21.242 –> 30:22.843
And and there has to be it.
30:23.284 –> 30:27.586
Sometimes that does not mean, hey, just sit down and chill.
30:27.827 –> 30:29.868
It means more physical activity.
30:30.008 –> 30:32.470
I’ve done jumping jacks in the parking lot.
30:32.510 –> 30:39.534
I’ve done, you know, pushups in the doctor’s lounge before I got my briefcase together and went out to my Jeep.
30:40.275 –> 30:41.956
It it can change.
30:42.679 –> 30:53.186
be lots of different things for lots of people, but allow yourself to continually finish stress responses and you stand a much better chance of resetting for the next one.
30:54.247 –> 31:03.674
And then after that, once you’ve sort of come down from that, spending time with people who understand
31:04.696 –> 31:14.679
is critical, people who may know you, be close to you, and understand some of the things that you’re going through, like-minded, et cetera.
31:15.039 –> 31:16.299
That’s, of course, important.
31:16.359 –> 31:33.484
But one thing that gets overlooked is the importance of spending time with people who don’t understand that, who don’t necessarily, they’re not totally consumed by your thing and resetting to the relative normalcy of the rest of the population.
31:35.020 –> 31:40.202
You get into an echo chamber of all ER docs who just want to talk about their last seven shifts.
31:40.862 –> 31:54.928
That’s not necessarily going to reset your mental health in the short term the same way as decompressing, finishing a stress response, and allowing yourself normal conversation about somebody else’s issues that you may care about.
31:55.829 –> 31:56.029
Wow.
31:56.249 –> 31:57.750
So you can’t just talk shop.
31:58.950 –> 31:59.510
Absolutely.
31:59.530 –> 32:03.072
I’ve been in a lot of shop talks that I thought would never end.
32:04.008 –> 32:07.872
So does this go hand in hand then with long-term resilience?
32:08.312 –> 32:17.040
We talked about the short-term kind of stress survival resilience, but what about the long-term stress management so we don’t burn out?
32:17.201 –> 32:18.642
Is this kind of the same protocol?
32:19.643 –> 32:22.145
It is inexorably related, yes.
32:23.146 –> 32:27.651
That stress that stacks, it has physical and mental manifestations forever.
32:28.334 –> 32:40.505
that those physical manifestations then stack and have difficulty being overcome, even if you have a good mindset, because you may have done significant physical damage.
32:40.525 –> 32:48.632
So how do you create overall resilience on both those fronts and other fronts that may be particularly important to you, spiritual fronts, etc.? ?
32:50.273 –> 32:52.534
I’m a big believer in functional fitness.
32:53.554 –> 33:08.419
I think it’s great to work out, but to work out in a way that speaks to the needs of daily movement and functioning, bending over, getting on the floor to play with kids and standing up repeatedly.
33:08.959 –> 33:10.240
One of my main hobbies is
33:11.454 –> 33:12.554
restoring cars.
33:13.275 –> 33:21.037
Well, if you want to get on the floor a lot, you either play with children or you climb underneath an old Jeep about 250 times and stand up.
33:21.477 –> 33:34.302
But when we’ve done studies of centenarians or people of extreme age, so many of them have that functional fitness, walking stairs, walking in general, covering miles, covering
33:35.362 –> 33:57.299
miles or in most places kilometers across the earth just in their daily de-automated lives that’s functional fitness in many ways so funny to bring that up because i like to study blue zones um i don’t know if you’re familiar with blue zones but they’re like certainly centurion populations there’s like five in the world right where they’re like pretty much
33:57.919 –> 34:19.367
for the most part, said to be disease-free, healthy, past 100, have their wits about them, they’re active, and it’s one of the things they talk a lot about, like some of the cultures don’t even have chairs in their house, like they’re just, because they’re up and down a lot, and they do a lot of gardening, it’s very light, moderate activity daily, but it’s consistent, you know, and that’s a big piece of the puzzle, it sounds like.
34:20.197 –> 34:20.957
Most definitely.
34:20.977 –> 34:35.264
The movement throughout the day and not getting exercise that’s just called exercise for 20 minutes in a day, but 16 hours of movement is probably much more important when it comes to functional fitness and longevity.
34:36.064 –> 34:41.947
The four movements I like to think of, it’s like fitness is a symphony and there are four movements to it.
34:42.647 –> 34:47.049
There’s move more, don’t move,
34:49.147 –> 34:51.428
Move harder and move fully.
34:52.449 –> 34:53.390
What do I mean by that?
34:53.450 –> 34:55.591
Well, move more means what we’ve just talked about.
34:56.292 –> 35:03.176
Don’t move is achieving stability, being able to hold still when faced with a challenge.
35:03.577 –> 35:08.140
The people in my emergency department who have sudden downturns have fallen and broken their hip.
35:08.780 –> 35:17.142
where they have faced an imbalance of life and suddenly they aren’t able to not move and they injure themselves.
35:17.703 –> 35:25.665
Move harder means keeping your muscle and strength at a reasonable level, a functional level, as long as you can in life.
35:25.945 –> 35:29.226
You’re never too old for resistance training, essentially.
35:30.066 –> 35:32.667
And move more fully has to do with flexibility.
35:32.867 –> 35:35.869
Can you move your joints through their full range of motion?
35:35.969 –> 35:40.611
Because children can, and you could too for most of us at some point.
35:40.731 –> 35:43.112
And you only lose that because you don’t do it anymore.
35:43.432 –> 35:51.296
And we’ve consigned ourselves to chairs and to the immobility of our world.
35:52.475 –> 35:55.998
What you put in your mouth and your nutrition absolutely matters.
35:56.359 –> 36:09.571
I would agree with the more recent adage that exercise is probably the most potent longevity drug that we have, but it’s going to be unsupported if you don’t have healthy food.
36:09.951 –> 36:12.353
Not everyone has that luxury.
36:12.453 –> 36:14.135
I absolutely acknowledge that.
36:14.515 –> 36:16.456
but almost everyone has some choice.
36:16.856 –> 36:25.538
And to be able to choose what goes in your mouth in a healthy, vented way is going to help one’s longevity tremendously.
36:25.558 –> 36:32.420
I’m a big fan of the original Robert Ludlum, Jason Bourne series.
36:32.540 –> 36:36.641
And a Jason Bourne quote is rest is a weapon.
36:38.662 –> 36:39.022
Sleep is,
36:40.038 –> 36:44.599
recovery, these are the things that I neglected through the great majority of my life.
36:44.679 –> 36:46.519
I’ll get to that, whatever.
36:46.599 –> 36:50.700
Medical training and parenthood were certainly not conducive to prioritizing sleep.
36:50.740 –> 36:53.320
The field of choice, yeah.
36:53.460 –> 37:08.823
And it still isn’t today, but I definitely recognize the science now that suggests that inadequate sleep is akin to much more obvious risk factors like smoking, like bad diet, like immobility or sedentary lifestyle.
37:09.643 –> 37:32.886
And prioritizing sleep, prioritizing that recovery, that is in many ways among the most important things that one can do to shore up their overall mental health, their ability to perform under pressure and their ability to then recover from that and be ready for the next challenge in life.
37:33.547 –> 37:34.607
Yeah, I imagine.
37:34.867 –> 37:43.169
The one that scared me when I was reading the studies on it was dementia, getting less than six hours of sleep and the correlation to early onset of dementia.
37:43.249 –> 37:45.729
I was like, whoa, that’s real, man.
37:45.769 –> 37:46.209
That’s real.
37:46.649 –> 37:49.090
Yeah, that’s real scary is what that is.
37:49.910 –> 38:01.652
Although these things tend to be counterbalanced by better and better news and some other fronts, one of which is that we’ve discovered much more about the connection between exercise
38:02.677 –> 38:03.958
and dementia risk.
38:04.619 –> 38:09.302
So if we are more active, it helps our brains too.
38:10.003 –> 38:24.314
It’s not like you could do bicep curls and never get Alzheimer’s, but functional fitness and movement and engaging with others and development of social relationships, you can reduce your dementia risk in those ways.
38:24.414 –> 38:28.017
And if that isn’t helping cognitive and mental health, I don’t know what is.
38:28.197 –> 38:29.138
There’s really no downside.
38:30.316 –> 38:32.198
There’s really no downside.
38:32.458 –> 38:34.681
If you get injured, you might meet nice people that way too.
38:35.121 –> 38:45.653
Being 40, I know, like I really need to get on the resistance train again because I know my bone density is shrinking by the second.
38:45.673 –> 38:47.315
I absolutely understand.
38:47.335 –> 38:48.336
I understand.
38:49.383 –> 38:56.172
But yeah, I don’t think it can be emphasized enough, the importance of healthy lifestyle and diet.
38:56.192 –> 38:59.015
And I know they all work in concert together, right?
38:59.496 –> 39:00.277
The importance.
39:00.437 –> 39:03.100
And again, you’re just a wealth of information.
39:03.160 –> 39:08.087
And I’m wondering, in light of everything we’ve talked about, what do you feel like would be
39:10.407 –> 39:34.973
good starting point for anyone who’s struggling maybe like most of us we’ve dropped the ball here and there we’re coming up on new year’s and um everyone’s gonna get gung-ho again about new year’s resolutions and getting to fit and i’m probably you know no exception and but when it comes to overcoming obstacles when it comes to sustaining these lifestyles where do you think most people
39:37.495 –> 40:01.272
can have a foothold if you would like on on lasting change like any tips nuggets of wisdom on that in terms of how we can help ourselves yeah well new year’s resolutions get a bad rap but i’m kind of a fan and you don’t have to call them new years it could be you know march 23rd resolutions whatever it is but
40:02.516 –> 40:07.359
I’m also a pretty big fan of beginning with the end in mind.
40:08.340 –> 40:13.383
What would you like to be able to do at X point in your life?
40:13.883 –> 40:26.511
If you would like to outlive, you saw your dad die young like I did, then I definitely want to feel a certain way when I’m that age or older.
40:29.477 –> 40:34.582
I’m almost 60 and my youngest child is six and my oldest child is 26.
40:35.123 –> 40:39.948
I want to be there the same for her as I do for her.
40:40.669 –> 40:48.097
And that motivates me very differently when it comes to daily choices, et cetera.
40:48.878 –> 40:49.158
I don’t,
40:51.274 –> 40:56.496
I don’t feel the same way about those choices that I felt in the past.
40:58.396 –> 41:08.719
So my advice would be imagine what you want to accomplish, but then do not become overwhelmed by all the steps it’s going to take to get there exactly.
41:09.039 –> 41:10.220
Just find one.
41:10.860 –> 41:17.462
Just find one step, commit to that, and see if you can commit to that by a certain date, a certain time.
41:18.775 –> 41:30.939
Maybe by tomorrow, maybe by next week, maybe I’m not going to have this particular dietary indiscretion this week or the next day or the next few days, et cetera.
41:31.500 –> 41:34.261
But those kinds of things add up.
41:34.741 –> 41:39.903
If you sub an apple for the muffin four days this week,
41:40.865 –> 41:41.966
then you’re ready to go.
41:42.126 –> 41:43.927
You’re ready to go on to the next one.
41:44.327 –> 41:46.408
Maybe I’m going to walk to get that apple.
41:46.829 –> 41:52.392
Maybe I’m going to take the stairs up to my office, have the apple instead of the muffin and so on and so forth.
41:52.472 –> 41:54.293
And these things are really additive.
41:55.114 –> 41:57.135
Don’t get too bogged down by
41:58.315 –> 42:02.398
particular goals, especially if, honestly, you’ve set unattainable ones.
42:03.259 –> 42:04.140
Don’t call them goals.
42:04.380 –> 42:05.461
Call them mileposts.
42:05.981 –> 42:10.905
Just make it to the milepost, and then let’s move to the next one.
42:11.465 –> 42:11.845
Got you.
42:11.965 –> 42:18.090
Once we’ve acclimated, once we get that plate spinning, it becomes more of a habit, part of the lifestyle.
42:18.410 –> 42:21.993
It’s a lot like the stress stacking you were talking about.
42:22.033 –> 42:27.057
We can do habit stacking around the benefits, but it’s important to know the why.
42:28.177 –> 42:28.377
Right?
42:29.077 –> 42:30.918
And then the how.
42:31.338 –> 42:36.960
Like, okay, but not like the how in terms of an unreasonable expectation, but just the micro steps, right?
42:38.100 –> 42:38.960
Very much agree.
42:39.441 –> 42:46.143
And for some folks, in fact, probably many more than do, seeking the help of…
42:48.169 –> 43:15.455
others and in some cases professional others can really go a long way there are a lot of people you asked me about the manifestations of mental health problems that show up in the emergency department who could really benefit from somebody like you a capable therapist that would listen to them not everybody has that luxury but almost everybody has the ability to communicate their needs with somebody and then seek to
43:17.819 –> 43:41.881
take forward steps because of it if you don’t have and maybe that’s somebody in most cases is themselves but then subsequently reaching out to somebody cultivating their relationships seeking the help of a professional those are going to be critical steps as well if it’s apple for muffin great if it’s this year i’m going to talk to somebody at least once
43:42.739 –> 43:43.980
then maybe that’s even greater.
43:44.901 –> 43:45.441
Absolutely.
43:45.461 –> 44:06.038
And I’m guessing that’s part of the sustainable wellness you talk about, which is what, what can we do that will keep us in the headspace of personal development of that self-awareness, that insight, and also that we’re getting, have a sounding board of, of validation, right?
44:07.594 –> 44:14.137
And what feels worse than like getting excited about your goals and going to the whoever is convenient and then they just shoot you down.
44:14.777 –> 44:15.798
Like, oh, you’re never going to do that.
44:16.398 –> 44:16.618
Yeah.
44:16.638 –> 44:17.018
No way.
44:17.999 –> 44:21.680
Well, maybe that’s why the first conversation with yourself is the most important.
44:21.740 –> 44:21.841
Right.
44:22.541 –> 44:22.821
Yeah.
44:23.261 –> 44:32.565
You get you get somebody gives you a bum steer when you reach out to them and remember the first conversation with yourself that you are ready to take that first step and get some help.
44:32.645 –> 44:35.827
And that that is the one on which you might fall back.
44:36.750 –> 44:37.311
I like that.
44:37.471 –> 44:37.891
I like that.
44:37.931 –> 44:45.638
I think that’s something a lot of us struggle with is trusting ourselves.
44:46.719 –> 44:46.979
Right?
44:47.439 –> 44:55.326
We, we see that, you know, when we’re insecure, we tend to reach out to other people’s for their opinions for their to get for permission.
44:56.146 –> 44:56.367
Right?
44:57.127 –> 45:00.230
But if something is meaningful to us, we’ve already given ourselves permission.
45:03.401 –> 45:08.469
We just need to remember why it’s important to us because there’s so much noise out there.
45:08.769 –> 45:11.734
There’s so much negativity, like you said, so many detractors.
45:14.703 –> 45:19.927
I would underscore another point from what you just said, which is, OK, seek professional advice.
45:19.987 –> 45:25.032
But in the health and wellness space, there is really a lot of noise there.
45:25.492 –> 45:29.616
There are more experts than I can possibly count, and I’m supposed to be paying attention.
45:30.476 –> 45:32.378
And, you know, so.
45:33.837 –> 45:43.019
Vetting your information sources in trusted science, in actual data and studies, if it’s available.
45:43.679 –> 45:48.480
But then listening to yourself and putting it into the context of your own life and your own judgment.
45:49.020 –> 45:52.721
You can get a lot of good observers, but you’re the only one who lives in you.
45:53.281 –> 45:57.662
And ultimately, it has to pass muster with yourself.
45:58.202 –> 46:02.243
But getting trusted scientific advice, of course, is something I would advocate.
46:03.228 –> 46:04.750
Right, getting the facts, right?
46:04.930 –> 46:06.692
Get your facts straight so you know what you’re working with.
46:07.893 –> 46:08.093
Yeah.
46:08.754 –> 46:12.838
I’m a big fan of, like I said, information.
46:13.358 –> 46:14.560
We live in the information age.
46:15.801 –> 46:24.430
There’s so much out there, but it’s equally easy to get lost in the fluff and the hype and the maybe not peer-reviewed research.
46:26.531 –> 46:29.153
and take something and run with it just because it’s a sound bite.
46:29.233 –> 46:40.239
So being careful, be taking the time to really make sense of what we’re learning about health and fitness and then finding ways we can implement that into our lifestyle in a meaningful way, right?
46:40.279 –> 46:43.800
And then getting the support to keep us on point.
46:44.001 –> 46:46.162
So that’s where the coaching comes in, right?
46:46.742 –> 46:47.282
Very much.
46:47.382 –> 46:47.722
Yes, sir.
46:48.903 –> 46:51.546
Well, you’re doing wonderful, wonderful work, Dr. Hayes.
46:51.586 –> 46:57.192
And again, I can’t express how much I appreciate you being on to share your wisdom and your time.
46:58.073 –> 47:03.118
For those that want to learn more about the work you’re doing, they can head over to your website, right?
47:03.318 –> 47:09.764
LastingImpactWellnessGroup.com or Lasting Impact Wellness.
47:10.325 –> 47:10.986
No group of the name.
47:11.666 –> 47:12.087
That’s right.
47:13.524 –> 47:13.924
Excellent.
47:14.105 –> 47:18.528
And here they can learn all about the resources you offer.
47:18.548 –> 47:22.492
And, of course, where to find you elsewhere.
47:22.512 –> 47:24.133
All your socials here at the bottom.
47:25.414 –> 47:28.777
And you have an active podcast, which is fantastic.
47:29.337 –> 47:31.479
Obviously, I’m a little biased, but I love podcasts.
47:31.639 –> 47:35.843
I think they’re just a great way to keep our head in the game.
47:35.863 –> 47:41.287
I always have an AirPod in when I’m gardening, doing the laundry, you know, and I’m trying to absorb practical wisdom.
47:41.307 –> 47:41.347
So…
47:42.608 –> 47:43.949
Glad to see you have that up and going.
47:45.030 –> 47:45.470
Thank you.
47:45.750 –> 47:50.233
We would certainly welcome any of your listeners, and I think it would help us both.
47:51.254 –> 47:53.875
I admire you greatly for the work you’re doing.
47:54.516 –> 48:06.463
The needs, as I said earlier in the podcast, for better mental health care are so acute and so obvious to me on an hourly basis, hourly basis.
48:07.124 –> 48:09.285
And so thank you for being part of that solution.
48:10.383 –> 48:11.344
My honor and privilege.
48:11.544 –> 48:18.186
You know, I created this podcast out of selfish motivation to learn more for myself and to serve others.
48:19.186 –> 48:22.808
Because it is, I think, a good fight.
48:24.028 –> 48:26.229
It’s a vehicle that works for me as well.
48:26.909 –> 48:27.490
Absolutely.
48:28.330 –> 48:30.771
And this is your LinkedIn for those who want to connect with you professionally.
48:32.216 –> 48:34.479
And that is all good.
48:34.539 –> 48:39.285
Is there any anything else you would like our listeners to know about where to find you?
48:39.305 –> 48:42.169
Any place where you’re most active?
48:43.804 –> 48:48.787
If you do come to our website or visit with us, please feel free to join our community.
48:48.987 –> 48:53.109
We would love to hear from you and continue this interactivity.
48:53.710 –> 48:57.472
If it must be by screen and tech, that’s great.
48:57.812 –> 49:06.377
And often that leads to actual face-to-face interactions with the glorious humanity that I’ve been working with all my life.
49:06.477 –> 49:10.139
And a chance to meet somebody new is a chance to learn something.
49:10.219 –> 49:11.680
And that’s a quote from my father.
49:12.526 –> 49:13.307
Ah, I love that.
49:13.747 –> 49:14.168
I love that.
49:15.409 –> 49:17.411
Say that one more time so we make sure we get it right.
49:17.852 –> 49:19.013
Well, it was a paraphrasing.
49:19.033 –> 49:30.464
The actual quote from my dad as we climbed out of a cab in Chicago was, and I was a kid, was, if you meet somebody and you didn’t learn anything, then you just missed an opportunity.
49:31.626 –> 49:32.687
Oh, I love that.
49:34.028 –> 49:34.668
I might steal it.
49:36.869 –> 49:40.309
It’s available for a loan without paraphrasing.
49:40.349 –> 49:40.729
Yes, sir.
49:40.809 –> 49:41.609
OK, I remember that.
49:41.629 –> 49:42.630
I have you on tapes.
49:43.230 –> 49:43.590
Thank you.
49:45.110 –> 49:46.630
I appreciate it, Dr. Hayes.
49:46.650 –> 49:51.711
You’re always welcome back on to share how things are coming on your end with the wonderful work you’re doing.
49:51.831 –> 49:54.712
So don’t hesitate if you feel so inclined.
49:55.452 –> 49:56.032
My pleasure.
49:56.092 –> 49:57.672
And thank you so much for the honor.
49:58.392 –> 50:01.913
Good luck to all your listeners and good luck to all of us in our community journey.
50:02.554 –> 50:02.874
Thank you.
50:02.914 –> 50:03.274
Likewise.
50:03.294 –> 50:04.035
Appreciate it.
50:04.755 –> 50:05.035
Take care.
50:05.715 –> 50:06.095
Take care.
50:12.358 –> 50:12.858
All right.
50:14.219 –> 50:15.159
Well, thank you so much.
Want to learn more? Check out my top picks for books on self-improvement and recovery HERE!
It is my mission to equip you with valuable and effective coping skills and clinical interventions, to improve your mood, be more productive and improve your quality of life, so you can do more, and worry less.
NEED CRISIS HELP? If you need immediate crisis help with your depression, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741
OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES: See International Suicide Hotlines
WHERE TO FIND MENTAL HEALTH HELP:
-NAMI Referral Helpline: 1-800-950-6264
-California’s Statewide Mental Health Helpline: 1-855-845-7415
ASK: If you have a question you’d like me to answer here on the blog (even if you think it’s a silly one!), please use the form on the CONTACT ME page, or the comment section below. I would be happy to take a poke at it and provide a long form answer when appropriate.
SHARE: Also, be sure to share it with a friend, as there is still a lot of work to be done in raising mental health awareness.
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