Are you thinking about taking the leap into group therapy, wondering if group therapy is even effective? You are not alone.
That can be a scary step, even for the seasoned therapy client.
So stick around, because in this episode of the Mental Health Toolbox, we are taking a deep dive into the topic of group therapy, with seasoned group therapist, Tanya Cole-Lesnick.
*Some of the links found here are affiliate links: As an Associate I earn from qualifying purchases by way of commission at no additional cost to you. See full disclaimer here:
Table of Contents
BIO: Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Tanya Cole-Lesnick has been a psychotherapist (licensed clinical social worker) and coach since 1995. She received her master’s degree in social work from New York University after group therapy changed her life. She has extensive experience in outpatient hospital mental health, private practice, and wellness center settings.
From those experiences over the years she has identified her most important focus—helping people to live lives that light them up. She does this by helping clients to access and honor their truth, to change habits that don’t serve them, and to heal faulty narratives so that they are living in alignment inside and out. Her work revolves around intimate groups as the sharing of inner worlds and being human together in a safe space is what she finds to be the most powerful way for lives to transform.
My story, the one that brought me to therapeutic work, began when I was in my mid-twenties and had my own first experience with a therapist. At the time my love life wasn’t living up to my hopes and I wanted a better understanding of what was getting in the way. Some thirty odd years ago now, going to therapy was something I felt a lot of shame about. I felt flawed, broken, and didn’t want to share those parts of myself with someone else, but finding the courage to reach out to my therapist led to more sharing than I ever expected. We met for traditional one-on-one therapy, but soon she was encouraging me to participate in group therapy. I stiffened at the thought, but tried it because I trusted her, and through it found answers and a new path.
That experience with group therapy changed my life so significantly that not only did I meet and marry my husband during that time, I also made the decision to leave my career as a graphic designer and become a therapist myself, getting a Master’s in Social Work from NYU, and dedicating my life to helping others lead lives that light them up.
During my nearly three decades as a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist and coach I have run hundreds of groups, and continue to find therapeutic groups to be an incredibly powerful way to foster emotional growth. Additionally, I have extensive experience in outpatient hospital mental health and private practice settings, with both individual and group clientele. My own life gets lit up by this work, as well as my nearly 30-year marriage, my two incredible daughters, my adorable dachshund, a crackling fire, a hike in the woods, hanging with friends, and a really good rom-com.
If you would like to know more about my story, my practice and group, check out my documentary “Group”.
I can’t wait to connect with you, and to help you move towards a life that lights you up!
https://www.tanyacole-lesnick.com/my-story
Learn More About How Group Therapy Is Effective, With Tanya Cole Lesnick, LCSW
SOCIAL:
-Website: https://www.tanyacole-lesnick.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyathetherapist
-Lin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanya-cole-lesnick-17b9727/
Watch The Interview:
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out my full playlist of interviews here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnPL9gahfhWatKmy2YSyU0jt20h_jrj3H
Prefer To Listen?
The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy 6th Edition
Groups-Process and Practice 10th Edition
Want to learn more? Check out my top picks for books on self-improvement and recovery HERE!
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OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES: See International Suicide Hotlines
WHERE TO FIND MENTAL HEALTH HELP:
-NAMI Referral Helpline: 1-800-950-6264
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TRANSCRIPT
Interview Transcript:
00:00:00 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Excellent, so tell me more about that experience.
00:00:03 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
UM, as you were exploring?
00:00:06 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Group for the first-time group therapy.
00:00:09 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What were some of your apprehensions?
00:00:12 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What were some of your barriers?
00:00:13 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Any any issues with access to care?
00:00:16 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
How did you overcome those challenges?
00:00:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, uhm, mostly anxiety and the thought of sharing some of my very vulnerable things that I started to share with this therapist felt.
00:00:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Well, like it.
00:00:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
They weren’t the kind of things that I had ever spoken about with friends or even family because they felt so deep and vulnerable so that just felt very scary.
00:00:46 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Are you thinking about taking the leap into group therapy?
00:00:49 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wondering if group therapy is even effective while you’re not alone?
00:00:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That can be a scary step even for the seasoned therapy client.
00:00:58 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So stick around because in this episode of the mental health toolbox we’re taking a deep dive into the topic of group therapy with seasoned group therapist Tanya Cole, Lesnick.
00:01:10 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So let’s go.
00:01:12 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Tanya Cole Lesnick has been a psychotherapist in coach since 1995. She is a licensed clinical social worker.
00:01:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
She received her Masters degree in social work from New York University after group therapy changed her life.
00:01:28 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
She has extensive experience in outpatient hospital mental health.
00:01:32 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Private practice and Wellness centers.
00:01:35 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Things from those experiences over the years.
00:01:38 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
She has identified her most important focus, helping people live lives that light them up.
00:01:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
She does this by helping clients to access and honor their truth to change habits that don’t serve them and to heal faulty narratives so that they are living.
00:01:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
An alignment inside and out.
00:01:58 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Her work revolves around intimate groups as the sharing of inner world and mean human together in a safe space and is what she finds to be the most powerful way for lives to transform.
00:02:12 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So let’s go.
00:02:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Hello Tonya, and thank you so much for making time to be on the mental health toolbox today.
00:02:28 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It’s an honor and privilege to have you here and I’m excited to hear all about your wisdom and what you’re going to.
00:02:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Share with our audience today.
00:02:36 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, hi Patrick, it’s so great for me as well to be here and actually I say that it a lot to an honor and a privilege.
00:02:44 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I agree.
00:02:45 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yes, it really is I I try not to take anything for granted.
00:02:48 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Uhm, just being able to have these resources available and be able to talk to someone who’s in New York and I’m in California and be able to have this kind of face to face.
00:03:01 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Pseudo interactions is pretty fantastic in real time and the world we live in, especially when it comes to mental.
00:03:08 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Health on being able to spread awareness and the way that we really never have been able to before, right?
00:03:14 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
A lot of the information we share that you share has been more or less kind of confined to four walls in a therapy office or a group setting, and that’s not.
00:03:25 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
The case anymore they get.
00:03:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, I’m so grateful to people like you who are doing shows like this because I think to have that conversation become more and more the norm in our culture is very healing.
00:03:40 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Absolutely invalid.
00:03:42 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And educational, for me.
00:03:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It’s kind of selfish.
00:03:46 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
The reason I do.
00:03:46 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
This is.
00:03:47 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
My passion to raise mental health awareness.
00:03:49 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
But I get to learn too from experts like you about things that maybe I’m not so savvy and or haven’t had time to deep dive into.
00:03:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So it’s it’s a great kind of continuing education for me as well as a therapist so.
00:04:02 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s my my internal motivation as well.
00:04:05 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So excellent.
00:04:06
Love it.
00:04:07 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So I know a little bit about you, but I would like you to maybe start by sharing.
00:04:13 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Off our session here where you come from, what you do, what you’re passionate about, and who is Tonya?
00:04:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, OK, so uhm, I first went to therapy when I was struggling.
00:04:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I was in my 20s and I was struggling to have a long term love relationship and I really didn’t understand what was going on.
00:04:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And for a while.
00:04:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Didn’t even think of therapy as a valid choice.
00:04:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I thought therapy was for people with more legit problems and I felt a lot of stigma connected to the idea of therapy.
00:04:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
B but at some point I did decide I would explore therapy and felt very immediately connected and cared for by the therapist that I started to work with, and she added as her recommendation group therapy to what she thought would be helpful for me.
00:05:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And she both did individual work and group work, and the idea of it terrified me.
00:05:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But I trusted her and I was sort of intrigued.
00:05:19 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So I decided to go ahead and do it.
00:05:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And it was.
00:05:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean.
00:05:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It was a lot of things and we can certainly talk about any layers that would be helpful to explore, but ultimately what it helped me do was, yes, I did kind of connect to what was in the way in terms of my sense of self worth and things that were probably interfering with my ability to.
00:05:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Connect to a long term love partner.
00:05:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And PS I did meet my husband around that time and we’ve married almost almost 30 years.
00:05:56 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wow, congratulations.
00:05:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Thank you, but what it also did was help me.
00:06:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Connect to myself.
00:06:03 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I went into that.
00:06:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Experience feeling very flawed and it helped me realize that I wasn’t flawed.
00:06:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I was human and of course we all have things that are challenging for us, and different narratives that we grow up with.
00:06:17 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
In all of that, and so having that experience and.
00:06:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Learning about what my needs are, learning about all the different layers of what made-up or what make up who I am was a huge part of that experience and it was so meaningful.
00:06:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I was a graphic designer at the time and I decided to switch careers and I went back to school.
00:06:42 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I got my licensed licensed clinical, so I became a licensed clinical social worker and have been working in that field ever since 1995.
00:06:53 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Live and really doing a lot of amazing work with wonderful people continuing to find group being a very powerful and helpful way for growth and for people to really know they’re not alone and connect with each other from the inside out.
00:07:13 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s been an amazing.
00:07:16 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve studied group theory in Graduate School.
00:07:19 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It was Yalom right all in the same boat.
00:07:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah he was.
00:07:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
He was the big one.
00:07:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, he never a few others but he.
00:07:26 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Right right yes yes.
00:07:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Was really why?
00:07:30 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
There is definitely something magical about group.
00:07:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Therapy and I have led my share of groups, be it for PTSD, substance abuse, borderline personality disorder, cognitive behavioral therapy, and it’s something I’ve definitely missed since the pandemic is not having those face-to-face groups.
00:07:52 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
There’s online, but people are a little.
00:07:54 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Seems more hesitant to jump into an online group.
00:07:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It certainly doesn’t have the same energy.
00:08:01 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So that’s pretty fascinating.
00:08:02 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So you leveraged group.
00:08:05 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
As scary as it was in your 20s, you were a graphic designer by trade and there was a definite why behind it.
00:08:13 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I think anytime we do something uncomfortable we need it big enough.
00:08:16 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Why to walk over hot coals right to get to the other side and for.
00:08:19 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You it was.
00:08:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
A lot of this impostor syndrome, it sounded like or a lot of internal dialogue and and self doubt about getting into a secure committed relationship and feeling prepared for that.
00:08:31 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And this offered you a sounding board, right?
00:08:35 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
In order to process those feel.
00:08:37 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And concerns and thoughts and get validation and guidance.
00:08:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Uhm, but then you didn’t just.
00:08:45 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Leverage that for your personal life.
00:08:47 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Something happened where you then decided to become a therapist.
00:08:52 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Was it correlated at all that you’re experiencing group lend to your desire for a career change?
00:08:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean, I think that.
00:09:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Just connecting to myself in a more meaningful way kinda opened me up.
00:09:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To a connection with myself that was so much more positive than I had ever experienced, and I.
00:09:14 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Think because that had such meanings.
00:09:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
For me it felt like made sense to me to dedicate my life to doing something like that because it was so powerful and it was almost like you.
00:09:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Know in the Wizard of Oz.
00:09:30 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Where you’ve got the sort of black and white, and then it goes into Technicolor.
00:09:34 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean, it’s almost like I had this experience of like oh, the world opened up in this different way that felt so much more full.
00:09:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And it.
00:09:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It felt almost impossible not to keep going with that.
00:09:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s the that’s the goal, right?
00:09:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And so when you feel inspired towards something when it lights you up, it’s defined a way to to turn that into a career, right?
00:10:01 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If you’re if you’re doing what you love, it’s not a vocation as a vacation, right as they say so excellent.
00:10:08 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So tell me more about that.
00:10:10 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Experience come as you were exploring.
00:10:14 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Group for the first time group therapy.
00:10:16 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What were some of your apprehensions?
00:10:20 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What were some of your barriers?
00:10:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Any any issues with access to care?
00:10:24 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
How did you overcome those challenges?
00:10:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, uhm, mostly anxiety and the thought of sharing some of my very vulnerable things that I started to share with this therapist felt.
00:10:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Well, like it.
00:10:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
They weren’t the kind of things that I had ever spoken about with friends or even family because they felt so deep and vulnerable so that just felt very scary.
00:10:53 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
When I first went into group the very first session, my therapist.
00:10:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Did not introduce me to the group and that shocked me.
00:11:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Now I run group and I always introduce people.
00:11:06 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But I did.
00:11:08 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Explore why that was the way she did it.
00:11:12
Honestly, I don’t.
00:11:13 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Even think I asked her about it, but I explored himself my own head and came to the conclusion that she must have been wanting me to develop my own voice.
00:11:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That was something that.
00:11:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Was a little bit.
00:11:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I was a little shy.
00:11:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I was sort of tentative.
00:11:27 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So to have to then figure out right?
00:11:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What do I do when I’m not being introduced and?
00:11:36 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I don’t think she ever did actually introduced me at the very end of that first session.
00:11:40 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
She asked me why.
00:11:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I was being so quiet and then I did introduce myself to others, but I felt like they hadn’t even noticed that I was there until I introduced myself.
00:11:51 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So definitely this tendency to withdraw.
00:11:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Now, the therapist that ran this group was that your personal or private therapist beforehand.
00:12:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, she’s the one that I went to or the individual and then she suggested I add group and ran the groups herself so and actually that combination.
00:12:02
Right?
00:12:06 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
OK.
00:12:12 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s not really answering your other question, but just a comment about that combination of somebody being able to see you in a group situation and be able to process them separately, individually, is part of what I think made that so powerful, because there were definitely things that came up during group that I felt.
00:12:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Shut down about, you know like I would find people intimidated that intimidating, I would decide.
00:12:39 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That they have things all together in a way that I don’t, and then I would process some of this separately and I remember my therapist saying things like oh you’re falling for that.
00:12:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Are you like help me?
00:12:51 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
See that we all kind of have these representatives that show up for us and to not take that.
00:12:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Too much to heart and to know.
00:13:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That, uhm, you know, there’s usually more to it than that.
00:13:07 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wow bravo yeah.
00:13:08 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
The shared human experience right?
00:13:10 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
As opposed to thinking that somehow we’re the we’re the only outlier, right?
00:13:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
With these, with these things, these reflected appraisals, as we oftentimes say, that they thought that we’re being judged by others, or that we don’t measure opera.
00:13:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, it’s fantastic.
00:13:25 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I think that’s a a great way to.
00:13:27 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Segue into group by now, and my own experience leading groups, even working with clients for several years.
00:13:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Some of them you know, multiple.
00:13:36 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Lawyers and then still having a conversation about group and watching you know, tense up and.
00:13:42 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Drag their feet and.
00:13:42 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Go, maybe you know.
00:13:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Not right now.
00:13:45 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Maybe down the road, but for the ones that did make that jump, you would see the growth and most times occur exponentially toward those goals for a lot of the reasons you just said.
00:13:56 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That you can you knowing that client can really kind of even very subtly.
00:14:03 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Work with you.
00:14:04 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Those known points of intervention about that person, particular makeup, and their challenges.
00:14:11 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And because you have that unique insight while respecting their privacy, finding ways to kind of lead them toward that discovery within group and.
00:14:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
The great insight for you to identify that maybe that wasn’t an oversight by the therapist when she didn’t enter.
00:14:28 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Could you?
00:14:29 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That was very much an intervention in itself, right?
00:14:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I’m sure.
00:14:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Understanding again, you were personality.
00:14:36 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Had you been somebody more charismatic, maybe they she would have just introduced you right away, but perhaps that was an opportunity for her to kind of.
00:14:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Tease you out on your on your own accord, right?
00:14:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah yeah yeah.
00:14:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean, just as you were saying that opportunity as a therapist to see what our clients kind of bring into a group situation and be able to work with those things.
00:14:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
An example that comes to my mind is just one with a person who might be.
00:15:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Be a real caretaker in their lives and that they tend to care. Take other people all over the place so in a group situation they might put their own needs on the backburner and offer feedback for their peers in Group. That kind of thing, and so you also mentioned you know respecting people’s privacy.
00:15:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But people do start to share with each other what it is they’re working on, so the more that people know, oh, this is something that I’m working on.
00:15:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The more we can call that out without.
00:15:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Feeling like it’s shaming somebody at all, but it’s offering helpful feedback that we’re all kind of wanting, and as long as we’ve given permission for that kind of thing, it can be just a really helpful thing so that anyway, that’s an example of.
00:15:51 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, excellent point for anyone listening right now.
00:15:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I just want you to stop for a second.
00:15:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Come back to us and take some notes on that.
00:15:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Don’t drift away because that’s really important to understand that you were role in a group setting.
00:16:04 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Is imperative meaning you have a lot more control than you think you do about your recovery and the group process.
00:16:10 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Because everybody that participates in a group contributes to the energy and dynamic of that group.
00:16:17 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It is an opportunity because if you open a door to something that maybe you’re not even that you weren’t very comfortable touching on.
00:16:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It gives the therapist.
00:16:24 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And other people in the group.
00:16:25 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Permission to then expound on.
00:16:28 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That elicit give give more feedback and you can always if you get uncomfortable right?
00:16:33 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You can always kind of close that again and the trust the therapist give the therapists and signals.
00:16:38 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Or, you know that you’re not quite comfortable yet to go too deep in that subject and they can close it back up.
00:16:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s part of the group process, right?
00:16:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, yeah for sure.
00:16:47 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, excellent.
00:16:50 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
All right so.
00:16:52 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
How long were you in counseling with your therapist before?
00:16:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You made that jump.
00:16:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I’m curious.
00:16:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That is a good question.
00:17:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, how long I’m thinking.
00:17:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I went back to.
00:17:08 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
School in 93 and I started.
00:17:14 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
This part of the journey, probably 9019, so about three years I think I did the group for about two years.
00:17:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I actually did.
00:17:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It three different times of my life, 2 years a run each time.
00:17:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So I did.
00:17:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It for about.
00:17:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Two years or so.
00:17:34 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I made the decision and it probably took a number of months before I actually got into a program and started moving forward with that.
00:17:40 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So yeah, probably between the second and third year with the process of moving towards which program I was going to be in.
00:17:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But before that it was about two years.
00:17:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Were you aware that your counselor at the time had a group offering?
00:17:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Or was that kind of did she pull it out of her sleeve when she thought it was appropriate?
00:18:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
She pulled it out of.
00:18:03 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Her sleeve when she thought it was appropriate.
00:18:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And always and this.
00:18:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Actually happens to me as well.
00:18:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Oh uhm.
00:18:11 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
She during the group settings we would all tease her about pushing group because that’s the way I think she did it with everybody.
00:18:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
She’d happy her individual practice and she would encourage them to try group.
00:18:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I suppose some of the people may have come directly for group, but more often than not, she.
00:18:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Would be pushing group encouraging people to do group.
00:18:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Similar to what I do, I often work with individuals who I know would get some benefit about out of adding group to the mix.
00:18:43 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So I would start to talk to them and you actually voiced it a little earlier when you were talking about people sort of hesitation or resistance because it does kick up a lot of fear for people.
00:18:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think people don’t think they’re gonna get.
00:18:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The same kind of attention that they get in individual therapy, and they’re not have the opportunity to work on their own issues in the same way, and they think they think that hearing other people’s issues is just kind of a necessary evil of group. But don’t realize how much all of that.
00:19:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Helps with growth and I think.
00:19:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That’s part of my inspiration.
00:19:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To be guesting on podcasts.
00:19:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And I made a little documentary of my own story that tells this story of how I went to group and how it changed my.
00:19:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Life for this.
00:19:36 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Very reason I think people don’t understand that it brings something special and powerful to be able to go.
00:19:44 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To group that is not available in individual.
00:19:49 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s fantastic, now is that documentary found on your website, but I definitely don’t want to drive by that.
00:19:54 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I want to come there.
00:19:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah yeah, so the document is only 10 minutes long.
00:19:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think it is.
00:19:58 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
.5 minutes OK, let’s just pause right there. Anybody that knows how much work it is to edit video or anything should know that 10 minutes is no small feat.
00:20:06 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Just throw that out.
00:20:08 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Saying that, that’s true.
00:20:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean, it was done for me.
00:20:11 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It was professional, but it took a long time and it was quite a process.
00:20:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But I think it really beautifully done so I feel.
00:20:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Really proud of it.
00:20:20 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What an excellent way to.
00:20:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Create an awareness with your own story and packaging it, and that’s just an act of love.
00:20:29 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
When you document your own story like that for other people who are.
00:20:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You know, not just potential clients, but anyone who might be potentially in the same position that you were is to understand that frame of mind.
00:20:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And is this your story?
00:20:42 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s that’s a big deal.
00:20:44 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, thank you for saying that, and I think it’s also healing for myself because when I think back to how much stigma I felt at the beginning when I first did it when I first became a therapist, even I did not reveal to even some of my closest friends.
00:21:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And that the reason why I made this decision to change my career is because I had this life changing experience in therapy.
00:21:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It was something only a few people got to hear about that in my life and.
00:21:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It it really?
00:21:17 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Speaks to how much I think things have changed.
00:21:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
In our culture, so that’s part of it, although there’s still some stigma that I know people experience for sure.
00:21:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think it also speaks to.
00:21:34 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The understanding that being vulnerable is kind of the glue.
00:21:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That holds us all together and that.
00:21:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The more I have in my own life taken risks of being vulnerable.
00:21:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The more I am modeling for clients and other people that oh this is OK, it feels OK to hear when somebody else is vulnerable.
00:21:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think my.
00:21:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Fear in the past was always.
00:22:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
This can’t be vulnerable.
00:22:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Gotta show up again with that representative idea.
00:22:06 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And I used to always think in terms of gotta button up and sort of present a certain way, and I think that’s dangerous for us too, as as people to feel like that’s the way.
00:22:19 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
For us to.
00:22:19 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Show up and connect to each other, I think.
00:22:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That vulnerability is important.
00:22:24 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And that’s a really murky water, right?
00:22:26 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Because in Graduate School we’re taught you know, self disclosure.
00:22:30 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Be very careful you know you don’t want to be that whole medical model even is that you know.
00:22:36 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Not to, you know, be too personal, right?
00:22:38 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Because then you won’t be respected.
00:22:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If they see how human you are, which we know is not true right, and I’m definitely seeing a shift with that is more self-disclosure, more vulnerability with, you know, within boundaries of course, but sharing our own struggles to some extent can be very validating, right?
00:22:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, yeah.
00:22:56 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Or refines consumer.
00:22:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, and that’s such an interesting point that you’re saying about the Graduate School and education and professionally.
00:23:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What’s sort of.
00:23:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Told to us is this.
00:23:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Idea of yes not showing certain parts that part sort of behind the scenes work and I.
00:23:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Think for me.
00:23:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Having grown up and being a good girl and that was.
00:23:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Sort of the way.
00:23:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That I identified, it was a little damaging for some of what is more magical in terms of my ability to help people grow and connect with other people is to allow some of that to live a little bit.
00:23:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
More freely, and I’m I’m really working on it and nurturing it now and in a way to honor Human Ness.
00:23:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And just that, fear of like what’s sharing too much.
00:23:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What’s problematic as opposed to helpful for people.
00:23:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s just an interesting question and I’m challenging it every day.
00:24:01 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yes, yes, definitely, it’s a.
00:24:03 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
A journey I know it’s figuring out those new ones is in practice and it’s beneficial.
00:24:07
Right?
00:24:09 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You touched on a really important objection that I just can’t leave alone, and that is when it comes to groups.
00:24:16 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I hear that all the time, you know whenever I bring it up with clients is I can, you know, I’m I can barely manage what I have now.
00:24:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I really don’t think I could tolerate listening to other people trauma or other people stuff, right?
00:24:29 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Uhm, and you you kind of touched on that and how it can actually be healing.
00:24:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Can you see a little bit more about that in your experience?
00:24:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, for sure.
00:24:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean I think 1.
00:24:39 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Of the things that’s so.
00:24:40 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Helpful about group is it helps us all.
00:24:43 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Touch on unconscious.
00:24:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So when you’re hearing somebody elses story, it may touch various things inside of you.
00:24:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It could be resistance, it could be like I don’t want to hear that or it could be.
00:24:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You could be triggered in some way, or it could resonate so strongly that it’s helping you connect to.
00:25:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Something you hadn’t even.
00:25:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Been thinking about.
00:25:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, and so that becomes part of the work.
00:25:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The way that I structure my groups is I have.
00:25:12 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Each person share a little bit about where they are on their current journeys, and that’s something that we’ve already identified together in our.
00:25:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Group what are you longing for?
00:25:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What do you want to work towards?
00:25:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That kind of thing?
00:25:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And then in real time we kind of explore.
00:25:27 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
How’s it going?
00:25:28 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Where are you going in this journey?
00:25:30 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And then I ask people to respond to each other.
00:25:34 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What’s resonating as you hear your peers talking?
00:25:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What’s resonating for you and so.
00:25:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The caretakers like we talked about this.
00:25:43 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
A little bit.
00:25:43 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Earlier, and somebody who might.
00:25:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Need to be.
00:25:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Working on their caretaking tendency might purely go towards that person and only offer that person feedback without paying attention to what’s coming up for them, and so that was.
00:25:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Part of the work.
00:26:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But what is coming up for you?
00:26:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
How do you not forget yourself even though there’s somebody here that you’re responding to, and so that becomes part of the work?
00:26:08 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think group is like a microcosm of life outside of work out of it.
00:26:14 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Rather yeah.
00:26:17 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So it gives them an opportunity to to work on things.
00:26:17 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Now yes.
00:26:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
In these sort of.
00:26:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Different layers and a different way and touching on it.
00:26:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Kind of in real time as stuff is unfolding, so it’s pretty.
00:26:34 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah I keep saying powerful but it is.
00:26:36 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s pretty powerful.
00:26:38 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Takes quite the present mind in order to even catch those things in Group in real time.
00:26:43 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
’cause there’s so much going on.
00:26:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You know to think that meta with someone and help them you know, dive deep when it even in.
00:26:50 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
In fact, when the conversation is being driven towards someone else to have to be able to pause and focus on.
00:26:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
On that one, individual process is super powerful, and kudos to you.
00:27:02 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s a hard thing to do as a group leader is to really dive, you know level deeper with people.
00:27:07 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
In the process of group.
00:27:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, well, thank you and I let it kind of happen in various ways in different timing because somebody may not be ready to offer.
00:27:17 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
They may not even know what’s coming up for them yet, which is part of why I love the separate processing.
00:27:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And not everybody does it, but it is something that’s available to my clients.
00:27:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So to be able to think, oh, this thing came up and I felt myself being angry and we could together explore alright, but what do you think that anger is connecting to in your own life?
00:27:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Because really it is for each person you’re not really there for the other people.
00:27:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean you kind of are, but it’s for your own work.
00:27:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
In the depth of your own.
00:27:51 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But there is.
00:27:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Celebration of each other.
00:27:53 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
We do offer feedback to each other when we notice growth growth.
00:27:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But noticing growth in somebody else is so inspiring for us and being able to recognize and see those tiny steps that somebody has made that we know because what we know about that person.
00:28:11 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Those are actually huge steps and we can call it out and celebrate it.
00:28:17 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And all of that.
00:28:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Helps us see that in ourselves.
00:28:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, absolutely and so.
00:28:24 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
We understand now that you have.
00:28:27 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Definitely benefited from group in your experience and it’s really been a cornerstone of your of your personal development, right?
00:28:35 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Your understanding and to the point where now you are very passionate about groups yourself, you lead groups, I’m wondering.
00:28:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If in your experience, what were some of your own experiences that have now translated to your own practice, what?
00:28:51 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What did you learn in your experience with groups that have informed how you lead groups yourselves now to particular strategies or nuances?
00:29:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Well, actually lead.
00:29:06 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Group in a way quite differently from the way the group was led when.
00:29:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I first did it because.
00:29:12 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think when I the group that I did was a very group therapy model.
00:29:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
No, no leading really from the therapist.
00:29:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Very little.
00:29:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean she used to intervene.
00:29:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And say things when necessary, but as much as possible, let everybody else kind of do all the talking.
00:29:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
My groups are much more structured than that, and.
00:29:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I I think it’s just I’ve done it for so many years.
00:29:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It was my own discovery of what I felt was helpful guidance for people, and even though I think the group that I attended was so powerful during the time that I attended it, I have tried to do more kind of an open kind of.
00:29:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Group format and let people find their own voice, and I haven’t been great at that style of group and I don’t know whether it’s just not a good fit for me or whether it’s maybe less of a good fit in our current culture.
00:30:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I’m not sure, but I definitely structure.
00:30:13 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Sure, and there are certain things that I.
00:30:17 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Work with people on within the group structure, so I mentioned that I ask everybody to come in with what they’re working on and that gets re identified as many times as needed.
00:30:30 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Really, people are talking about what do they want?
00:30:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What are they longing for?
00:30:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So for somebody it might be too.
00:30:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Reduce the angry lashing out a pattern that’s uncomfortable within somebody’s life. That could be the goal, so somebody else it might.
00:30:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Maybe feeling so depleted that they’re not able to connect to some of the career aspirations that they have.
00:30:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That kind of thing or wanting to connect to community more.
00:31:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Whatever it is, people are identifying that they bring in their own stuff about whatever is going on.
00:31:06 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Like I said earlier.
00:31:08 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But then I ask people to say what’s resonating for them, and to say if anything is triggering for them so that we’re really touching on what happens when we hear from each other in that way.
00:31:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I also offer a topic so we kind of split the group in half. It’s kind of where you’re at and then offer a topic related to being human. So and these topics grow out of the sessions.
00:31:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So depending on whatever it is that we’ve been talking about in the session, I will create a topic.
00:31:43 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That they send to everybody prior that they can give.
00:31:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Some thought to.
00:31:47 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So for example my current topic.
00:31:50 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Is what do people feel they need?
00:31:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To be more.
00:31:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Intentional about.
00:31:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Versus work on letting go of and to talk through how that shows up in their lives.
00:32:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
We had that topic plan for this past group, uh, my current groups are every other week we had that topic plan to the past group and we didn’t get to it thoroughly enough, but people felt like it was a juicy important topic that they all want had a lot to say about.
00:32:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So we’re bringing that one back.
00:32:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But that kind of thing.
00:32:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s our group.
00:32:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s our space and we’re always talking through and developing what’s going to help our group.
00:32:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Do what everybody wants it to do.
00:32:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
We’ve also created more of an accountability piece in our group and that grew out of the Members who were interested in being able to check in about accountability stuff, so people will say at the end of group something that they want to be intentional about and we check in later on.
00:32:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, yeah, so that’s pretty much how I structure that, and I guess that just came through a lot of trial and error and deciding what felt to be the most helpful and give people some space to connect to themselves and each other while also helping to lead it.
00:33:14
A little bit.
00:33:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wow, it definitely sounds like it stems from a lot of experience and wisdom and I just really want to highlight.
00:33:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
How fantastic it is, at least in my opinion.
00:33:26 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Whatever it’s worth that you are giving ownership of the group to the members right in terms of what they want to discuss and even bringing stuff back and giving freedom to extend topics.
00:33:39 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So we’re done with that topic this week.
00:33:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And sorry, we.
00:33:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Already have this on the agenda.
00:33:43 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
The next one I can cut him off and oftentimes I think that that’s a lot of the power in Group is.
00:33:49 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s been in my experience is, I will oftentimes let the group decide what they want the next week topic to be and kind of give them some buy in there, plus some.
00:34:01 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It helps ensure that what, at least in my experience.
00:34:05 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That the time that we’re spending together is spent wisely because I know it’s important to them.
00:34:10 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I’m not just taking a wild guess.
00:34:12
Right?
00:34:12 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Uhm, and then something that you said that I I had not heard of, but I’ve not practiced which I thought was really cool.
00:34:20 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Is giving them you know a reminder or sending out the topic ahead of time to give them time to really get their thoughts together?
00:34:28 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Because how quickly do we, you know, just do 90 minutes.
00:34:30 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I know how long your.
00:34:31 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Groups are but 90 minutes goes by.
00:34:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And between the time you know, check in and processing and you know by the time you you get into the meat of it, you know it’s almost time to close it back up and.
00:34:43 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It doesn’t leave a whole lot of time.
00:34:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
For free
00:34:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Thought, especially when you’re sharing the conversation.
00:34:47 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So that’s a really fantastic firetip right there is giving the regular attendees the people you know are going to attend time, time to put their thoughts together before group.
00:34:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, I think when you have that seed planted.
00:35:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Some of whatever the topic is, it’s going to show up in places you wouldn’t necessarily notice otherwise.
00:35:08 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So yeah, it I think it gives people time to collect their thoughts.
00:35:12 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It gives them time to observe themselves and see where it shows up.
00:35:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Even so, it can be really powerful.
00:35:20 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, absolutely.
00:35:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So yeah, you definitely have a wealth of information around groups.
00:35:26 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Do you?
00:35:27 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Do you tend to gear your groups toward a particular population, or is it kind of an intentional next bag?
00:35:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I at the moment all my groups are all women.
00:35:42 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, but the group that the groups that I had done were men and women and I know now gender is more fluid or the way we speak about gender and understand gender is much more fluid than it used to be and.
00:35:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So I’m kind of open to evolving from that.
00:35:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I have not yet.
00:36:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I still right now I’m working with women.
00:36:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I often work with women.
00:36:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I would say 40s to 60s, but I do have.
00:36:13 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Well, 30s to 60s maybe?
00:36:15 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And occasionally I have, UM, younger women in their 20s who are kind of interested in Group.
00:36:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I’m always a little bit worried they’re gonna feel like they’re not with people their age group, and some people Love Actually being with people in a different age group and.
00:36:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Feel much more.
00:36:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Well, with that and other people may be longing to be with other people within their same age group, so that ends up being a conversation and sometimes it works great and sometimes it doesn’t work as great, but.
00:36:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, yeah, so that’s kind of.
00:36:50 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I guess it’s kind of everybody in a way, but in terms of working with all kinds of women for now.
00:36:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think there are definitely patterns and maybe this just even comes out with my clients.
00:37:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think I I tend to have a lot of clients who have fallen into.
00:37:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Sort of good.
00:37:11 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Girl narratives and have perfectionistic tendencies, and.
00:37:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, get caught up in the idea of should that kind of thing, so I don’t know whether it’s just because those are the clients.
00:37:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mostly attract so so many of them have that kind of of healing that they’re working on.
00:37:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uh, so it there definitely doesn’t seem to be a lot of.
00:37:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That in my group.
00:37:37 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
There’s that saying your vibe attracts your tribe, right?
00:37:42 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It’s fantastic and there’s so many directions we could take this conversation because group is.
00:37:46 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Such a deep deep topic, you know when it comes to recovery and experience.
00:37:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What would you?
00:37:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
What would you like to share with our audience that you feel is most pertinent about the group process, be it your experience or advice?
00:38:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think it’s really besides all the good work that we’ve already been talking about.
00:38:11 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You can get from group.
00:38:13 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
There’s a connection between the group members that happens as they have these experiences together and allow each other in their world a little bit more.
00:38:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
We really do root for.
00:38:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Each other and feel connected and happy to see each other.
00:38:30 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And laugh a lot.
00:38:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So it’s there’s so much fun to it too.
00:38:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And I don’t know that.
00:38:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I always highlight that part of it enough we.
00:38:39 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Can talk about all.
00:38:40 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The good work that gets done, but it really.
00:38:43 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Is a lot of fun.
00:38:44 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I do groups now all virtually I know you were talking about.
00:38:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Like sometimes there’s some resistance to that or it doesn’t feel the same and for sure not everybody likes.
00:38:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The idea of.
00:38:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Doing virtual groups, but I do think there’s something about face to face, like you literally are in a square with just your face.
00:39:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So there is something very intimate.
00:39:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
About that uhm.
00:39:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But when I used to do it in a physical office space, there was another therapist that worked next to me and so every time that I ran the group, she would comment on how much laughing.
00:39:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Happened and that.
00:39:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Her client would always hear the laughing and uhm.
00:39:27 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
She would make a comment like, oh, I bet you wish you were over there or something like that.
00:39:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Because she just heard all that energy coming from us and I just remember back in the day when we did the in-person group there was a lot of lingering in the parking lot where people really were enjoying this conversation and connection so much that they really, really wanted to keep going and so.
00:39:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It was a really lovely experience, and I’ve done actually, and I do ioffer these.
00:39:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Retreats that grow out of some of the.
00:40:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Group work that people do, so it brings them to a different level.
00:40:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Of connection and depth.
00:40:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Even because there’s some trust that gets developed, of course by these relationships and sharing this kind of inner world and I.
00:40:17 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Pride myself very much in creating a space that people feel safe enough to do that that sharing our inner world.
00:40:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I don’t take that lightly like that is not something that’s easy for people to do, especially if you’re not in an environment where it feels safe to do.
00:40:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Do that.
00:40:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And so that’s so critical to me that people really do feel safe when they do that, and when they take a certain leap of faith into group.
00:40:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That’s amazing, but then when they go into a face to face in person retreat situation where we’re spending a weekend together and.
00:40:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Going a little bit deeper ’cause we have some more time to get into some of this stuff.
00:40:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It can be amazingly bonding and connecting and that feeling that you’re.
00:41:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Not alone is.
00:41:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So helpful and healing.
00:41:07 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wow, so taking a level deeper with the retreats and getting that human connection going, so just a disclaimer.
00:41:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I spoke with limiting assumptions having not run online groups myself as of yet.
00:41:20 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I have personally been dragging my feet a little bit because of my own concerns.
00:41:25 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Over maybe things not going smoothly with technology and and everything.
00:41:30 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
How do you?
00:41:31 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
How have you as a therapist overcome those hurdles?
00:41:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
As far as making sure that everybody is on board, they have the right.
00:41:39 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Set up technology.
00:41:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
The platform has that been, have you had?
00:41:43 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Any problems with that?
00:41:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uh, I’m I’m trying to remember we.
00:41:47 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Started to do zoom.
00:41:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Before the pandemic and I did a few little groups before the pandemic.
00:41:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Of course not knowing what was ahead and.
00:41:59
Were there?
00:41:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think that yeah, once I did a group and the wrong link went out and or or people didn’t get the link and it’s hard for people to get on and.
00:42:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So that was a little bit tricky, but it’s been rare that we’ve had issues.
00:42:14 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think during the pandemic it was hard for people to get full on privacy sometimes, and that had to become a conversation to remind people that that’s critical.
00:42:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Love you.
00:42:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
People have to.
00:42:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I mean, that’s part of the feelings for any situations.
00:42:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So to make sure that people can get a private space for themselves.
00:42:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Else other than that, I feel like for the most part it goes smoothly.
00:42:39 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Every now and then somebody connections bad and it’s it’s a bummer, because then we might lose them for that session or something, although I haven’t really had it ever be worse than a momentary glitch here and there.
00:42:53 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But for the most part it’s gone pretty smoothly.
00:42:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Smoothly and people certainly understand now much better how to work virtually than we once did so.
00:43:03 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, I’m into that.
00:43:04 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s so true.
00:43:05 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, that’s there’s anything the pandemic has done.
00:43:08 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Definitely raised the the bar for Tele health, yeah?
00:43:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah for sure, yeah.
00:43:14 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So so many words of wisdom about group in the group process and objections, and the value of group, UM, what Nuggets of wisdom, in terms of accessing group or anyone that might be dragging our feet?
00:43:29 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Whether you’re speaking to potential consumers or therapists, what might be your words of wisdom?
00:43:35 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That you’d really.
00:43:36 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Like people to take away from your experience.
00:43:39
I think.
00:43:39 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
There’s all.
00:43:40 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Different ways of connecting to community and to find and I’m calling it community.
00:43:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But right now, of course we’re talking about personal growth communities where people can connect to that.
00:43:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So if somebody is interested in working with me personally, I do have a free discovery session so.
00:43:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
They could connect me.
00:44:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
They can schedule that themselves on my website and I know we’ll get into that a little bit later, so that’s one way.
00:44:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
If somebody is interested in working with me, I do know that there’s a few other group, UM.
00:44:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Online group.
00:44:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Offerings I don’t.
00:44:19 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Even know what?
00:44:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You call them.
00:44:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think 1.
00:44:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Is called pace.
00:44:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Groups and other one is called.
00:44:27 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Newport, I think, and I’m I’m.
00:44:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I don’t really know how to speak to them directly, but just to say that there’s more availability, I think than there once was, I guess.
00:44:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Certainly technology and having the virtual capacity has helped with all of that.
00:44:43 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think there’s also other ways to connect to communities, not by necessarily going into a group.
00:44:51 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So another one that comes to mind is there’s the holistic psychologist.
00:44:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with her, but she’s got millions of followers on Instagram.
00:45:03 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And the reason why?
00:45:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I suggest her is she does this self healer.
00:45:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Something it’s an offering that she does not all the time, but it gives you this community where you can connect to mental health ideas and communicate with other people.
00:45:19 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s not live.
00:45:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s not as far as I know.
00:45:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So, uhm, you’re not.
00:45:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Sort of live in a zoom room, but you get the information, but there are other people in the community that you can communicate with.
00:45:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I feel like it’s a good.
00:45:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Way to get.
00:45:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You, to a little bit.
00:45:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
OK, OK look at stepping stone right?
00:45:35
Wet and he’s like.
00:45:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, exactly a stepping stone and a way.
00:45:39 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To say, OK, there’s.
00:45:40 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
People here who are.
00:45:42 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Also, on a personal growth journey.
00:45:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And I really like the experience of connecting to them, and that might be just a little indication that perhaps opening up to more of a group experience would be something that would feel healing.
00:46:01 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I know we’re landing the plane here, but I am curious since we’re talking all about group and your personal experience and this is I think the experience with most of my clients is that there’s usually.
00:46:13 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
An established relationship in individual therapy before they venture into groups, whether that be a group with the same therapist or another group.
00:46:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Do you feel like individual counseling should be the first step?
00:46:27 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Before jumping into a group or anything someone with no experience in counseling would still benefit from from diving head first into a group setting.
00:46:37 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think ’cause I’m actually in the process of putting together packages and for that very reason I do think that the individual work doesn’t necessarily have to be individual work with the therapist that’s running the group.
00:46:50 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So if you’ve done some individual work elsewhere, I think that is beneficial because you know.
00:46:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Sort of what?
00:46:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You’re even wanting to do in Group.
00:47:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You know what you’re bringing to group.
00:47:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You know what you’re working on.
00:47:03 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think it that is.
00:47:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Very helpful especially.
00:47:06 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
If you haven’t done much healing yet, and if you’re more.
00:47:11 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Easily triggered because.
00:47:13 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
There’s some dysregulation issues ’cause you haven’t fully.
00:47:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Healed some of what you’re just starting to look at.
00:47:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think group can be a little bit triggering.
00:47:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
In that way.
00:47:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
As people talk about some of their struggles if you’re not yet comfortable with saying.
00:47:29 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What your own?
00:47:30 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Story is so.
00:47:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So I definitely feel like it’s a good beginning to have a little bit of individual under your belt.
00:47:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, I, as I said before, I really like doing the individual and group together because I think that shared experience can be so helpful for the individual work as well.
00:47:49 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So and if it goes back and forth and the work.
00:47:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Kind of helps both sides of work help the other side so.
00:47:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yes, so individual therapy leads to clarity.
00:48:00 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
On goals, insights and then they can take those to group, to expound on the accountability for.
00:48:09 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Great advice, yeah, do you feel like somebody who’s entering group should wait for the therapist to call that out on them?
00:48:17 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If they ever do, or do you feel like they should lead with?
00:48:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That in Group.
00:48:22 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
As a way to kind of break the ice.
00:48:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Wait, ask that again.
00:48:26 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So in terms of somebody’s insight into what their awareness is about their goals, what they want to work on, do you feel like if they’re entering group for the first time, do you feel like they should wait on the group therapist to elicit that from them?
00:48:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Or do you feel like they should lead with that on their own to?
00:48:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Kind of break the ice.
00:48:47 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
A little bit.
00:48:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Of both I.
00:48:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Mean when somebody comes into my groups.
00:48:51 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I lead with that that.
00:48:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Is sort of my natural beginning.
00:48:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Where are you?
00:48:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What have your group experiences been?
00:48:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What do you want to be working on?
00:48:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That kind of thing?
00:49:00 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I get that out there from the beginning.
00:49:03 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
If somebody is in a group and that’s not the I mean there’s so many different ways that people run.
00:49:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Groups, that’s the thing.
00:49:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Some groups it may not be the appropriate thing to just go right into your goal.
00:49:09 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I know it’s hard.
00:49:15 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
But I think asking questions and trying to.
00:49:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Get a feel of what the group structure is is really important.
00:49:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Part of being able to figure out how to make use of that group structure in a way that works for you so.
00:49:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Whether or not.
00:49:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You lead with that, I think asking.
00:49:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The question about would be it would be an appropriate time for me to share my goals.
00:49:39 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That kind of thing because it could totally be an oversight that the group leader just didn’t go there initially, but I think.
00:49:47 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s usually a good place to.
00:49:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Start, but if the group is structured in a different way, it may not be the most appropriate moment.
00:49:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So I think just to feel that out a.
00:49:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Little bit is a good way to go.
00:49:58 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Alright, thank you.
00:49:59 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Just curious, just trying to think in the mind of a newbie, like to to group ’cause I could imagine the anxiety and the angst of not really knowing what to share window share.
00:50:09 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Should I share, you know that stuff or or even being intimidated on the opposite side of the spectrum.
00:50:14
Google News.
00:50:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Sometimes ’cause I’m a very I’m.
00:50:16 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I’m admittedly a very.
00:50:19 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Goal oriented.
00:50:21 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Task oriented guy and I know I lean toward the tangible and I need to slow myself down sometimes to focus on process and feelings.
00:50:29 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Like OK, but what do we do?
00:50:30
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
00:50:32 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And that can sometimes be off putting to people too, and I sense that as.
00:50:36 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If they’re not ready to go there.
00:50:37 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If they don’t have the clarity, they can feel dumb.
00:50:40 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Overwhelmed, easy, you know.
00:50:41 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, for sure.
00:50:43 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Third filing.
00:50:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think it is a very overwhelming experience and I.
00:50:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think even before the group itself, if you have any questions that you’re aware of, the best would be to.
00:50:56 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Talk it through.
00:50:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What’s this like?
00:50:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What’s that like?
00:50:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And just to get some feedback from that leader so that you know I’ve been in groups?
00:51:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, recently and find that I still have a tendency to sort of withdraw and get a little bit quiet and that I do better when I know the structure of the group that it’s easier for me than to say what’s put out there.
00:51:19 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And that groups are run differently, so I’m not always sure what the expectation of groups.
00:51:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
R and dumb.
00:51:27 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, so I think it’s really.
00:51:28 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Helpful to clarify that.
00:51:31 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wow, thank you man, I could just keep.
00:51:33 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
We could just keep going with the group.
00:51:35 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Uhm hey, if anybody listening to this and you want to, you know have a follow up session.
00:51:39 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Please let us know and I’ll I’ll rope Tanya back in.
00:51:43 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
There’s some follow up questions.
00:51:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
’cause we could have a whole.
00:51:45 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Math we could have a whole master class.
00:51:46 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
On groups with.
00:51:47 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You I’m sure you know how to structure groups, pitfalls, strategies.
00:51:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You know, break the ice methods you know homework, all that stuff, right?
00:51:58 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, so so much to to unpack because I know you’re a wealth of information and like I think you’re the first person I’ve had on the podcast to really talk about the group process.
00:52:07 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So if it’s.
00:52:09 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Fine with you.
00:52:10 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I’d love to have you back on down the road at some point to give you a little more deep diving about the work that you’re doing.
00:52:11
No wonder.
00:52:14 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Absolutely yeah.
00:52:18 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Where can our listeners learn more about you?
00:52:20 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Where can you be found?
00:52:22 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So my website is my name, but it’s.
00:52:25 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Also because it’s easier.
00:52:26 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To remember group with Tonya, all one word, so Tonya is tny.
00:52:33 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm group with Tonya.
00:52:34 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The documentary that I mentioned is on that website.
00:52:38 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So you can just push a button to watch that, and as I also mentioned, I do the free discovery sessions if somebody is interested in Group then I can talk it through with you about.
00:52:52 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Whatever your personal specific.
00:52:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Needs are and to.
00:52:57 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
See how group could help with those.
00:52:59 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Particular needs, so I’d be happy to do.
00:53:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That and and I also have.
00:53:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
A little PDF that I’ve added.
00:53:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To the mix inspired by.
00:53:09 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Brené Brown it’s a little she does.
00:53:12 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
These permission slips that we all kind of.
00:53:15 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think could benefit from giving ourselves permission for whatever it is that we’re struggling with, so I just have a little PDF on there if anybody is interested to give yourself permission for anything that you need.
00:53:28 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
So some people might.
00:53:28 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
How fun, nice and nice old gift, right?
00:53:31 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, and I heard her talking to.
00:53:34
Think was.
00:53:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Oprah, actually she was saying I that Brené Brown herself said I give myself permission to be giddy when I meet Oprah, that kind of.
00:53:44 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Thing something like that but.
00:53:45 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Great great.
00:53:45 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I thought that was cute.
00:53:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
She said they she stuffed them.
00:53:48 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
In her pocket, so yeah.
00:53:50 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Nice, I love that.
00:53:52 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I love that so you can be found pretty easily.
00:53:56 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I’m going to go ahead and take a little gander at your website here.
00:54:00 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So this is your website, right?
00:54:01
Yeah, yeah.
00:54:03 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Excellent, very nice, very nice so this is your the watch now.
00:54:06 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s your documentary right?
00:54:08 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
That’s a documentary.
00:54:08 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Oh nice and easy to find.
00:54:11 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I like that.
00:54:12 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And this discovery group.
00:54:13 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s where the discovery call.
00:54:14 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, yeah they can.
00:54:16 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Then they can schedule people can schedule it themselves and come.
00:54:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s up to.
00:54:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
45 minutes it doesn’t have to be 45 minutes, but however much time is going to be helpful for us and yeah.
00:54:28 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wow, 45 minutes. That’s generous, wow, but you know everyone stuck to the 15 minute console call thing. That’s great, wow.
00:54:36 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
All right everybody, I hope you’re taking advantage of that.
00:54:38 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
’cause that’s not.
00:54:39 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s not very common, I’ll tell.
00:54:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
You that yeah, 45 minutes that’s
00:54:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Alright testimonials, no doubt.
00:54:48 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And uh, yeah very nice and you have been featured on other podcasts.
00:54:50
At my osco.
00:54:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I see.
00:54:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, yeah.
00:54:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Good good.
00:54:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Alright, I like how you layout your your site here.
00:54:58 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
And they are.
00:55:00 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Very very user friendly.
00:55:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Great, thank you.
00:55:04 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, that’s what I was going.
00:55:05 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
To say, I’m sorry, keep interrupting.
00:55:07 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
You, but I also have an Instagram and Tik T.O.K in there.
00:55:11 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Sort of the same videos.
00:55:13 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Although Instagram is growing a little bit.
00:55:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I’m I’m blanking out on what I’m called Tonya.
00:55:21 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
The therapist all one work on either Tik T.O.K or Instagram and Instagram.
00:55:27 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I’ve started to do on Tuesdays.
00:55:30 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I do Tuesdays with Tonya.
00:55:32 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s just that while.
00:55:33 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Now you see that.
00:55:35 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, at noon Eastern Time on Tuesdays, and what?
00:55:40 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I’ve started to talk a lot about.
00:55:42 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Now is the idea of energetic clutter.
00:55:46 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
’cause I realize in all the different work that I do, my focus is to help people identify like what’s getting in the way.
00:55:53 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
What’s weighing down?
00:55:54 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
We all have a.
00:55:55 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
A certain amount of bandwidth, what’s weighing you down and getting in the way so that you’re not able to connect to the things that really matter most of all, and helping people to clear that energetic clutter group is a great way to do that, but.
00:56:10 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Uhm, I missed it.
00:56:10 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Wow so I I love how accessible you were.
00:56:13 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Weekly lives on Instagram.
00:56:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Just aside nugget.
00:56:17 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I was just listening to a podcast or social media marketing.
00:56:20 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If you were listening the other day, apparently Instagram has in the works desktop access to lives, so that might be something you’d be into since we’re doing lives.
00:56:30 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Anyway, every week just keep an eye out for that.
00:56:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Excellent, and this is your Instagram down here at the.
00:56:36 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Bottom right so guide.
00:56:37
Yes, yeah.
00:56:37 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Right here.
00:56:38 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
OK cool alright everybody, no excuses Tonya is easy to find and even a free discovery call there and the documentary so no excuses.
00:56:48 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Alright, super well, I really appreciate having you on today.
00:56:54 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Feel free to reach out anytime if you want to jump back on and I’ll be sure to reach back to you.
00:56:58 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And yeah, thanks for.
00:57:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Thank you so much.
00:57:02 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
It’s been a I’ve really enjoyed our conversation.
00:57:05 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah me too.
00:57:06 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Thank you for helping to raise mental health awareness.
00:57:08 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It means the world to me and everyone listening so.
00:57:12 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It’s a valiant effort.
00:57:14 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I appreciate it.
00:57:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, keep up the great work, OK?
00:57:18 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Thank you and thank you.
00:57:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
For like I said earlier, but just podcasts like these.
00:57:23 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
I think is.
00:57:24 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Healing so healing for our world.
00:57:27 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Yeah, I agree, I’m a podcast addict so I’m a.
00:57:29 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Little biased, but.
00:57:30 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
That’s the reason I started one.
00:57:31 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I listened to them all day anyway.
00:57:33 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It’s my grounding method, as I tell my clients, there’s lots of ways to ground for me.
00:57:37 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
It’s having an air pod in my ear.
00:57:40 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Is my.
00:57:41 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Jacked up Airpod case
00:57:44 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Very nice.
00:57:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And I always have an airpod in my ear, and whether I’m doing the garden like yesterday and tackling some.
00:57:51 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Lantana bushes, or if I’m doing the laundry or watering the plants, I always have a podcast in my ear because it’s my mantra and it keeps my head in the.
00:58:00 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Right space so.
00:58:01 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Yeah, same.
00:58:03 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Alright, well thank you so much you enjoy your sunny New York weather.
00:58:08 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I’ll enjoy my 100 degree California weather.
00:58:12 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
And they would take my kid to the the water park today.
00:58:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
I think that’s.
00:58:15 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
On the the agenda.
00:58:16 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
So alright, well, you take care, enjoy your week, OK?
00:58:20 Tanya Cole-Lesnick, L.C.S.W.
Thank you too.
00:58:22 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Thank you.
00:58:23 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Bye bye.
00:58:26 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Have you been linked to a therapist yet?
00:58:29 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If not, be sure to check out my video tutorial on how to find a therapist at the end of this video.
00:58:34 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Or if you’re listening in on the podcast, be sure to look in the description below.
00:58:39 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If you’re getting value from this content, be sure to like, subscribe and share it with your friends and family.
00:58:44 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
If you haven’t done so already, if there’s anything you’d like me to speak to directly, please let me know using the contact us form in the description.
00:58:52 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Well, there you have it.
00:58:53 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Another tool to help you thrive.
00:58:55 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Now go make good things happen.
00:58:57 Patrick Martin L.C.S.W.
Bye bye.
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